Painful Weekend

So work is wearing me down this weekend. The college is having it's annual reunions, and since management can't seem to figure out how to do scheduling properly they've had to pull me from my normal post to stand at gates to allow people in and out. It makes for a long and boring night, and it wears on my back and knee badly. The added cold and rain we've been having hasn't helped, as my arthritis is acting up as well. To top it off next weekend is the Wedding of Mr. Bri and it looks like my work has screwed up things so bad in relation to staffing levels that they're gonna deny me the day off even though I put in for it back in December. I guess giving them 5 months pre-warning just wasn't enough time. This is easily the best job I've had in my life, I just wonder sometimes about why some people. both regular and management, seem to have such a hard time doing the job?

Yesterday...

So yesterday was Mother's Day. A full day to remind us of our daughter, Adele, who's gone. I took the day off work to spend with my little Babushka. We pretty much did a whole lot of nothing. We ate a lot of junk food, watched a lot of Tv, and spent major amount of time just cuddling in bed and on the couch. We didn't cry too much, but we didn't smile much either. I just hope that Father's Day isn't as bad. I plan on working that day, and hopefully it'll help keep my mind off of things. I know that not every year will be as hard as this one, or at least I hope this is true. I miss my daughter.

Slightly Old Oddity

So, considering how this Blog first started I realize that something did happen a little while back that I should mention. While the loss of our Daughter has monopolized my mind and soul the last few months, there was something else that does at least stick out as strange. So, last Halloween I was giving out candy. Babushka didn't want anything to do with the holidays. But I've always loved giving out candy and seeing the costumes and thought that maybe doing so would help take my mind off our loss. But at one point when I was cutting some chicken up for dinner the bell rang and quickly washing my hands I ran down and saw a group of kids. And also the Demon. Yep, talk about a flashback. My Demon. I hadn't seen her since January 2004 when I started this blog. She was dressed as a Witch and was taking her son around Trick Or Treating. Did she know where I lived? Did she come on puirpose? I don't know. The funny thing is that by this point I also didn't care. Don't get me wrong, it was actually nice to see her. Yea, things ended badly between us (Heck, it ended badly every time), but we were good friends for a long time. I also realized that whatever was once there, the Love, Lust, whatever it may have been, was gone. We hugged. I told her since she knew where I lived it would be nice and also up to her if she wanted to keep in touch. She did notice my wedding band and commented that I was married. She also intorduced me to her son. Then she was gone. I haven't heard/seen from her since. I'm fine with that. I'd welcome her back, but I'm also am not gonna waste time expecting her back. So, I guess in a way I've come a long way personally. Once upon a time she was all I could think of, heck just go read a lot of my earliest blogging. Now, she's a part of my past that I can take or leave. I have some really good memories that include her. But I also have some really bad memories that include her. Do they balance? Kind of. I think there was more good than bad between us, and I hope she feels the same. But my days of losing sleep over her are gone.

Looking Back

So I've been killing time at work by re-reading a lot of my old blog posts. It's wierd to see where life has taken me since I started this blog. I love seeing the comments people have made, and remembering some of the folks I met here in Blogland. A few of them I still have contact with on facebook, but a lot of them have just faded away into the aether. I sometimes hope that one or another might stop back at the blog out of bordom or nostalgia and find me here again, but I guess that's wishful thinking. Still, even though I've never met most of them I do enjoy the nook in my memories that they inhabit. At some point I think I'll continue my few ongoing series that I used to do on the blog. My Memories, People in my Neighborhood, and the Random Top 10's. Not that anyone is reading this blog anymore, but I enjoyed doing them back in the day so maybe I'll still enjoy them now. Course it would mean I'd have to start posting a little more frequently, and while I've done a few new posts I haven't had too much luck getting back into the blog like I once was. But I figure, since I like looking now at what I wrote then maybe I'll enjoy looking in the future what I might write now. Will just have to wait and see.....

Sometimes After Midnight

So I'm at work, but it's a quiet night and not much going on. The kids are done with classes and most of them have to be gone by next Wednesday. After that it should be quiet almost all summer. Due to how the weeks fall Babushka and I have 2 counseling sessions next week. They do one on the 1st Monday of the month and one on the 2nd Wednesday. Just happens they fall on the same week this month. I normally don't go to the Monday one because I work that day, but I was off for last months and it seemed to help Babushka for me to be there, so I may take it off again this time. I only have 2 sick days left till July 1st, and have been trying to ration them, but sometimes you have to do what you think is best and deal with the consequences. Allergies have been kick my behind the past week or so. This is the first year 've been in an outdoor post here at work, so the pollen has uber-attacked me. Wonder if work would let me come in wearing a Hazmat mask? Been reading back on some of my old posts and the comments people left. I miss a lot of my old Blog mates, I wonder where they've gotten to in thier lives. Hope that they think of this old forum every once and a while. Have you ever had a friend or aquantence who you see all the time, but then one time you look and realzie that you're looking at them in a way that is totally inappropriate? Was talking with an old friend recently and suddenly found myself staring at her boobs. Have never looked at her that way before and I felt like a sleazeball, but man those things are huge. I couldn't take my eyes off them. I'm very happy with Babushka, and Lord knows she has enough breasticles for three women,so it's not like I had any real sexual thoughts of this friend, it was just looking down and being like "Great Googaly Moogaly her boobs are monsterously awesomely huge!" Now I'm worried the next time I see this friend I'm gonna catch myself looking again. I hope not, not that I don't like looking at large boobies but I'm afraid of getting caught and it being awkward. Will have to wait and see. Anyways, almost time to ship out for the night. Peace...