Wednesday, June 23, 2004

dreams die

Well, I found out this morning that my Demon has started dating someone else. It's been 6 months since I last heard from her but I had been holding on to the hope that she would come back. I guess that isn't going to happen now. She has made me so happy at times, yet the pain outweighs the smiles. I don't know if she'll ever come back again but for now I need to deal with this depression and misery that fills my heart and try and find a way to keep going. I don't fully blame her, I know her skeletons and knew what I was getting myself into when I took her back. At least I can say that we've dated and I've had the chance to make love to her, sleep next to her, and call her my own. I know how it feels to hear her say she loves me and to kiss her. Now I have to find the stregth to go back to being without her. Dreams die, hopes fade, life sucks...but still we go on. I'm too stubbron not to. I have my friends and loved ones, although less then I used to. I've put away all her pictures, letters, gifts, and the jewelry I'd bought her but never got to give. I may pull them out someday but for now it hurts too much. I'll cry, I'll drink, I'll be depressed and miserable, But time will pass. Someday she may return, and if she does I'll probably take her back yet again. But for now I need to find a way to smile without her. To live my life without her. I'm just not sure I know how to be that strong...

4 Voices In The Darkness:

Blogger gundum_shenlong Screams...

I know it hurts now, and it will for a long time, but pain loses its edge, tears dont always last, and wounds heal. Life is hard, and it always will be. But its these hard times, this pain, that lets us know that we have been happy. and you will be happy again. For now, just hang out with your friends, some close cousins, and let them show you that life is still good, even after losing what we want. hope to ttyl. love ya. Ryan

4:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous Screams...

Hey. This is Mike. The one that hangs out with Adam and co. ^-^ I know it's probably not my place to say anything about this matter, seeing as how I don't know the portions which would allow me to, but man, you definetly are strong enough. I've only known you for about... What, a year? Give or take, but I know for a fact that you ARE strong enough to handle this. Truth be told, you're one of those role-model figures for young'ns like myself. Hehe. In my opinion, anyway. Though I'm considerably less experienced in life as you, I'd just like to extend an arm out to you, and tell you that I'll be here if you need me to be. :) Best wishes to you, sir. Hope to see you around at Adam's one day soon. :)

-Mike-

4:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous Screams...

BM Says,

If you are going to drink, drink with me.

4:54 PM  
Blogger Dream Screams...

Here I lay my soul
For everyone to see
It only hides me from my pain forever
I look around my world
But my visions are unclear
Tears like fallen angels from my eyes
Haven't I seen enough
Her heart is blackest at its core
And even though I've prayed for love
The dreams die where they fall...

Remember that?
Never forget brother...
Never forget...

6:29 PM  

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