Age and Paths

So I turned 37 on the 18th... and in some ways it's intimidating to see 40 looming so close over the horizon. Looking back on my life I see that all in all I have had a good run of it. I've had a good family (with one or two exceptions), good friends, some great lovers, and a Wonderful wife. In a world so full of pain, anger, and hate as this one is I feel like I've been blessed. Which is a lot for someone of questionable religious faith to have to admit to. Yes, I took far to long to pay attention to my life, always too busy helping others with theirs. I have no savings (my wife fortunately is a saver, cause I spend quicker than I earn sometimes). I live day to day with little or no thought to the future. Yet somehow things have turned out not too bad. And while I admit to sometimes looking back and do the "what if" thing, perhaps far too often, I can't honestly say I would change much if I could go back. Perhaps find a way of getting to where I am now without hurting a few of the people I did (I never meant to hurt anyone, and that is the truth, but that is an excuse that means little to those who had to deal with the pain.) Perhaps I could have avoided a few of the pitfalls of my life, but to do that I'd have had to avoid some good people and great times. In the end I believe the smiles have outweighed the tears, and that's not something most people can say, and I truely believe that I have caused more smiles that tears in my life.
So here I head towards 40, just a few more turns around the sun. And what I hope for is that I can hold this fragile life I have together, and continue to make people laugh more than I make people cry.
I may never change the world, but the world may never change me...