Monday, April 29, 2013

Time Passages

So, it's been rough. We lost our daughter Adele back in August. She was born at 22 weeks, just too early for them to do anything. I got to hold her for 20 minutes. 20 minutes. That's all the time I'll ever have with my daughter. Babushka and I are holding together ok I guess. We have our bad days, but they are spacing out more and more as time passes. We have Adele in an Urn and while some may think it's creepy, in a way it helps to know she's at home with us in the only way we can have her. Work has been crappy as well. Shortly after Adeles passing my work changed my hours. I now work a swing shift, 6Pm to 2 Am. I don't even have weekends off anymore. It really sucks. Sometimes I find myself getting so mad I worry I might end up doing something I'll regret later, but most of the time I'm just sad while at work and just fake a smile and walk the post I've been given. We've been trying to catch up with friends lately. We kind of shut down for a long time and didn't really see anyone. But now we do our best to make plans and keep them. It's harder due to my schedule, but we'll find a way to make it work. I spend a lot of time on facebook. I don't comment too much, but I do read what people write and leave feedback for them sometimes. I also have a few games on there I play when I have time. We had one of our friends, Colombia, stay with us for about 3 weeks last month, and it looks like she might be staying with us again for a while. Colombia's going to school up here (3 guesses where she's from, and the first 2 don't count) and her Mom has run into difficulty in letting her stay with her. I like getting to see her, and I have no problem helping her out, but hopefully it won't be a long time stay. Visitors are nice, but once you've gotten used to living just the two of you it's hard to make room. Having to remember to put pants on when going to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Closing the bathroom door when showering. Learning to cook for 3 people, and having to worry that what you're making the 3rd person might not like. So why am I on here again? Well, one of my old Blogger Pals (JadedPrimaDonna) was mentioning that she has started her blog up again and it caused a flashback. Not sure if I'll keep up here, but who knows right? Anything is possible.... that's why it's called Chaos....

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