Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Bad Ju-Ju

Sometimes it gets hard when you get bad news to talk to people about it. I'm on vacation here in Canada and got some bad news through the internet and I have no one to talk to about it. I guess the Demon has moved in with her new boyfriend. I had been hoping she would come back into my life but I guess now that it's not going to happen for quite some time if at all. But even if I was at home who would I talk to? Most of my friends have heard so much about my ongoing drama with the Demon that I don't feel comfortable bringing it up around them anymore. Then there are others who I have a past/present relationships with and it feel awkward talking to them about it. So what do I do? Can't talk to family, they all hate her and don't understand why I still care about her or am hoping she'll come back. So I sit here trying to deal with things with no one to talk to. Several of my friend will say that I can talk to them but I feel bad because they've been hearing it for so long that it seems like all I do is talk about her. I guess I'll find a way to deal. I don't seem to have much choice. Funny thing is I know if she came back I'd go to her, but at this point for the first time in a long time I'm starting to hope she doesn't come back due to that very reason. I love her but I need time to heal and I'm scared of her coming back right now. To Quote a song : "Baby Baby Stay, Stay right where you are, I like it this way, It's good for my heart, I haven't felt like this in god knows how long, I know everythings going to be ok, if you just stay gone". Yet at the same time I do want her back. God sometimes I really hate being me.

3 Voices In The Darkness:

Blogger Purplepyramid Screams...

I will never get tired of hearing about your life. Be it in pleasant times or in difficult times. You never have to feel awkward with me...ever. Love has a way of creeping up on a body. When you think that you've got it under control the carpet gets pulled out from under you. If the Demon has moved on then the only thing to do is to wish her well. I say this because it seems to me that if she were to come to you, you'd end up being sad more often than you were happy. And when it comes to this past/present thing just remember that if a thing from the past is still secure enough to exist in the present that means that its basis is in true friendship and therefore she shouldn't mind speaking to you about anything...Then again, who am I to speak for her? Give it a try, she just may be able to understand.

4:24 PM  
Blogger BM, The Necessary Movement Screams...

ok her I goooooooooooooooooooo:

Damn who ever told you about your ridiculous x girlfriend’s newfound situation ON YOUR VACATION is sick!!!. Information like this can wait until you get back into the states. I am sure the person who told you this knows how you react when you hear info about your X!! Now this will be on your mind your whole vacation. You probably disagree with me, but man think about it. You could wait a week to hear this bullshit. I just hope you didn’t ask this person what she is up to; cause if you did you did it to yourself.

You know what you have to do in this situation. You have asked this question about your demon repeatedly. What you have to do is move on. Everyone has a love they can’t forget. Everyone has been hurt. You know that it would never work with her. Call that Closure and get on with it. How long have you been feeding emotion into this one girl? You have to stop before you become self-destructive and start enjoying the depression. It’s possible you already are. You are right you feel uncomfortable talking to your friends and family because you have been doing so for years about her. I have known you for about 12 years I think most of those years I have heard about her. You gotta stop with her. Let yourself live.

The point it is…
You know longer need sympathy about your X sympathy has been given years ago. You have to realize you enjoy the sympathy way to much. Get off her she is not worth all your emotion and energy. Save yourself!!!!!

Yes I am dick
But damn man one of your friends (if others haven’t already) have to tell you this.

Good luck

10:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous Screams...

Babushka,
I think we all hate being ourselves at one time or another, I know I do. Although it might surprise you, you can tell me anything that is on your mind, even about things like this. One of the things I have realized is that I understand more than you know, and maybe more than most. Not to mention I over talk people in my life to friends of mine all the time, (which is why I try to make an effort not to do it so much), so maybe it is about time someone did it to me.

12:53 AM  

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