Monday, October 18, 2004

Could it be?

Could it be?
11 years ends in silence. In a car ride where no word is spoken. All words hollow and empty. Scars from the last ones left unhealed (i'm not jill so i'm not good enough right?)(no matter how you lie to yourself or everyone else you can't change what he did). It ends with a bag of books in the back seat I'll never read. With 2 DvD's unwatched. The sound of a trunk closing. No hug given, the ghost of 2 kisses never to be born. It ends with the tears running down my face not relieving the pain but blurring the drive in front of me. Stopping to throw up beside the road. Bile ands blood mixes with hamberg and fries. My ulcer screaming at me, telling me I was a fool for believing I could escape it. Part of my heart lost, part of my soul dies. It ends with me repeatedly puching a tree in my cousins yard untill my hand bleeds. The anger I've spent a liftime burying fights its way to the surface. All the memories of laughter and smiles and hugs and love and lovemaking fade into the darkness within. It ends with me writing in this blog as if somehow it could erase this all, help make it not be. I sink into the depression that has stayed with me through the years like a scar, the light dimming as it closes over me. I stare at a bottle, looking to find oblivion. An escape from this, from all. To forget somehow that nothing lasts forever. Not life, not friendship, not love. Promises left behind as broken words. I fear the dreams that will come tonight. I fear the day that will follow. I fear the loss of my friend.
Could it be?
11 years ends in silence.

4 Voices In The Darkness:

Blogger gundum_shenlong Screams...

life is hard at some points, sometimes more then others. But thats why we have friends, so we can lean on them in our time of need. time doesn't heal all wounds, memory dosn't always forget, and broken hearts never fully heal. but friends, family, and love can ease the pain and help fill in some of the holes left behind. even broken hearts can love again. tears don't last. pain looses it's edge. We're always here for you. hope to hear from you soon.

2:40 PM  
Blogger BM, The Necessary Movement Screams...

Just think, tomorrow...
Shitty horror movies with BM!!! Now that is something to look forward to!!! Can you the see it? that little glint of hope? ohhhhhhhhhh yesssssssssssss sir it's there!!!

4:41 PM  
Blogger I AM AWESOME AND SMART Screams...

DUDE, JUST LISTEN TO SOME METALLICA. DUDE, THEY ARE SO SWEET, DUDE.

4:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous Screams...

Babushka,
I am sorry you have to go through this crap. Know that I love you, I will always be here (it can last) and don't give up hope.

7:44 PM  

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