Could it be?

Could it be?
11 years ends in silence. In a car ride where no word is spoken. All words hollow and empty. Scars from the last ones left unhealed (i'm not jill so i'm not good enough right?)(no matter how you lie to yourself or everyone else you can't change what he did). It ends with a bag of books in the back seat I'll never read. With 2 DvD's unwatched. The sound of a trunk closing. No hug given, the ghost of 2 kisses never to be born. It ends with the tears running down my face not relieving the pain but blurring the drive in front of me. Stopping to throw up beside the road. Bile ands blood mixes with hamberg and fries. My ulcer screaming at me, telling me I was a fool for believing I could escape it. Part of my heart lost, part of my soul dies. It ends with me repeatedly puching a tree in my cousins yard untill my hand bleeds. The anger I've spent a liftime burying fights its way to the surface. All the memories of laughter and smiles and hugs and love and lovemaking fade into the darkness within. It ends with me writing in this blog as if somehow it could erase this all, help make it not be. I sink into the depression that has stayed with me through the years like a scar, the light dimming as it closes over me. I stare at a bottle, looking to find oblivion. An escape from this, from all. To forget somehow that nothing lasts forever. Not life, not friendship, not love. Promises left behind as broken words. I fear the dreams that will come tonight. I fear the day that will follow. I fear the loss of my friend.
Could it be?
11 years ends in silence.