Why?
I don't get it. Since she had her son I've seen my friend Heaven twice. Thats in 2 years now. I haven't talked to her in I don't know how long. She openly told my cuz, who she works with, that her hubby doesn't want her talking to me anymore. We were friends for almost 9 years now and for a while more than that. But since she had her son, nothing. I've delt. I stills send a x-mas card. I still care alot for her. But I realize that due to what transpired between us I'm now no longer part of her life. I miss her, I miss my friend. To hell with all the rest, I miss my friend. But I can' force her to keep in touch so I do my best to let go.
Yet every few months she send me an e-mail. Not a letter, but a survey. I just don't get it. WHY?!?!?! If you don't want me in your life, which is what she has said at work, then why am I still getting the very rare surveys from her? Every time I see her address I get hopefull that maybe she's decided to talk to me again. Then when I open it up... survey. I always send it back, along with a note that says I miss her, but then it'll be a few months again till I get... ANOTHER SURVEY?!?! If she wantedto keep in touch without pissing off her hubby she could just tell my cuz to tell me hi, but he says she never mentions me at all anymore. I've even had him tell her I said hi, she just looks at him and goes back to what she's doing. So WTF is up with the surveys?
I just don't get it.
Yet every few months she send me an e-mail. Not a letter, but a survey. I just don't get it. WHY?!?!?! If you don't want me in your life, which is what she has said at work, then why am I still getting the very rare surveys from her? Every time I see her address I get hopefull that maybe she's decided to talk to me again. Then when I open it up... survey. I always send it back, along with a note that says I miss her, but then it'll be a few months again till I get... ANOTHER SURVEY?!?! If she wantedto keep in touch without pissing off her hubby she could just tell my cuz to tell me hi, but he says she never mentions me at all anymore. I've even had him tell her I said hi, she just looks at him and goes back to what she's doing. So WTF is up with the surveys?
I just don't get it.
These Echoes In The Silence Brought To You By Azathoth100 at 10:40 PM
Uhm…
I think she wants you but under some circumstances, (in which I don’t know) she is being more careful with her feelings.
If she doesn’t want to get in touch with you, I am sure she will remove your e-mail address or anything related with you, but she didn’t.
I am sure she misses you as much as you do but .. she is still considering (in which I myself cant figure out why)
My suggestion is for you to talk to her female best friend, try to get something from her friend(s).
Aza, don’t let go something so beautiful in your life because you will regret it later. I regret for what had happened between me and my ex, if only I were less stubborn, she will still be here with me. Now its too late for me, don’t make it to be you!
i have the same problem with my friend debbie. she never wants to hang out or talk on the phone but she always sends me stupid jokes through email. i try to reply to those jokes with small talk, just trying to get my fingers into any crack that used to be our friendship. it's strange. we have never even met each other's husbands. i don't know people do the weird shit that they do.
OH GOD!
does evry one have probs ? !!
people suck!! I think I have friends who barley contact me and when they do I think it is only out of habit. They just can’t let go because we have been friends for so long. Sometimes you have to make a sever instead of trying so hard. It’s not unheard of for friendships to naturally die. I have lost hundreds of friends. Not by choice or ant paticulr reasons, it just happens.
Now on a happy not may 12th is cooooooooooo!! See your sexy ass Thursday!! I miss you!!! Its been forever!! We have to rent That Scarecrow gone wild movie!! I hope it’s in
How long have they been married? From what I've seen, people go through this phase, that might last a long time, where they kind of withdraw from everyone else. Then, they realize they need to have separate identities in order to have a healthy marriage; and they either figure out how to do that (or get divorced). Sounds like your friend doesn't want to let you go, but she's not willing to take any chances on making her husband mad. Sounds like you need to try to forget her for now, just put it in the back of your mind somewhere - trying to remember only the good stuff. And then, hopefully soon, she will come back.
My best friend in the whole world is a guy, and though I've been married 6 years now, sometimes my hubby still has a problem with it. So while keeping my friendship I'm careful to always let my hubby know exactaly what I've talked about with my bud, etc...
Many men are just very insecure in their spouses having a friendship with another man especially if that friendship was at one time a relationship.
Almost sounds like she's caught between a rock and a hard place, you need to just back off and continue on with trying to make you happy luv. If at some point she is able to resolve her feelings and have a happy medium with her spouse then maybe you can be friends again. For now though she's probably going to stay the way she is.
Hugs Darlin'
I've lost contact with two friends, because their husbands thought I was too independent. Even in my marriage. They didn't want them to have an identy past what they wanted them to be like. I don't blame the husbands, I blame my friends. They can stick up for themselves and their friends if they really wanted to. I have. You need to just rmember the good times, and back off. I would send her a note with the next survey. Saying that you still want to be her friend, but if she can't talk to you even in e-mail then to take you off of the junk list. And wish her well. it will be her choice to come back to the friendship or not. If she doesn't than remember what you had and maybe who she turned into wasn't worth it.
lots of good advice here Aza.. I have the same problem with a male friend who's wife hates me.. I guess I am a threat.. but the thing is .. If we wanted to be together we would have been .. and we werent.. I, too, miss my friend.. that is the hardest part all the bullshit aside.. friendships (i mean the real kind .. burf knows what i am talking about ) is a rare gift..and when you lose one of those.. its hard.. but maybe.. and just maybe .. this is a door to let some one else in that will give you what you need.. and want.. and deserve.. instead of settling for what they chose to give you ..
I think I'm gonna leave the advice to the others, I think everyone has made good points on this one. You've told me about the situation before, and the whole thing just stinks. One question... do you know anything about her husband other than he doesn't want her to hang out with you? For instance, why? Insecurity? Is he just a jerk? Or don't you really know him at all? Also: on another note: apparently you're the only one that cares to comment on my journal anymore, and I love you for it. And on yet another note: on May 12th, when you get together with our mutual pals, you all have to have a toast for me & Mr.M, as that very day is our 2-year anniversary. Hurrah for us! Even though we both have to work that night... we'll be celebrating another day, not sure when yet. Anyway, have a great time, I'll be wishing I was there hanging out too! *smooch*
Az : I am all for the direct approach. Send her an email and ask the questions you have asked here. Why the emails, why do not ask about me, what happened, do you want contact/friendship. Tell her you care and need to know some direct answers. Then also tell her that the emotional roller coaster and "high" of seeing her name in your inbox is too much if she cannot be direct with you and that if you do not hear back you will block her email address from any further "surveys".