Tuesday, December 28, 2004

More Pratchett

You can work out how much energy a Kangaroo uses when it makes a jump, Count how many jumps it makes in a day, and deduce a lower limit on it's daily energy requirements... Do the sums, and you find that the Kangaroo's daily energy requirements is about TEN TIMES as big as anything it can get from it's food. Conclusion: kangaroos can't jump. Since they can't jump they can't find food so they're all dead.
Strangely Australia is positively teeming with kangaroos, who fortunatly can't do physics.
--Science of Discworld.

In fact, no gods anywhere play chess. They prefer simple, vicious games, where you Do Not Achieve Transcendence but Go Straight to Oblivion; a key to the understanding of all religion is that a god's idea of amusement is Snakes and Ladders with greased rungs.
--Wyrd Sisters

That seems to point up a significant difference between Europeans and Americans. A European says: "I can't understand this, what's wrong with me?" An American says: "I can't understand this, what's wrong with him?"
--Terry Pratchett

William wondered why he always dislike people who said "no offence meant". Maybe it was because they found it easier to say "no offence meant" than actually refrain from giving offence.
--The Truth

"...and then I'm gonna get medieval on his arse."
There were more pressing problems, but this one intrigued Mr. Pin."How, exactly?" he said.
"I thought maybe a maypole," said Mr. Tulip reflectively. "An' then a display of country dancing, land tillage under a three-field system, several plagues, and, if my ----ing hand ain't too tired, the invention of the ----ing horse collar."
--The Truth

All he knew was that you couldn't hope to try for the big stuff, like world peace and happiness, but you might just about be able to achieve some tiny deed that'd make the world, in a small way, a better place.Like shooting someone.
--The Fifth Elephant

One of the most basic rules of survival on any planet is never to upset someone wearing black leather.
--The Last Continent

One of the universal rules of happiness is: always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.

1 Voices In The Darkness:

Anonymous Anonymous Screams...

I love it! It reminds me of so many great pratchett books, so I get to laugh all over again. Thanks.
Discworld logic is the best.

10:20 PM  

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