Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Maybe second chances

After a year of being seperate me and Babushka have decided to give things a second try. I'm a little worried because all of the reasons we broke up still exist. She believes the purpose of life is to woship god and have kids. I want no offspring and don't fully believe in a diety, in fact am often religious hostile. Yet I do love her, and she does love me. I worry because my heart is still in many ways not fixed from the pain of the Demon. Yet since that has been going on for 14 years now I'm not sure it'll ever be free of her ghost (BTW: if you want to hear a great song detailing how I feel, check out Idigo Girls 'Ghost". It sums it up better than I can). I told Babushka I make no promises (I'm a stickler for keeping promises so I try and not make them if I'm not sure I can keep them) yet she wants to give it a go. I'm just worried if things don't work yet again that I may hurt her (Last time she cried and it killed part of me to know the tears were from me) or even loose her (she says she'll never leave, but so have so many others, only a few have proven the words true). But for now I'm not single anymore. Lets see where the road leads......

10 Voices In The Darkness:

Blogger Mooker Screams...

i hope you are happy with her. i have never tried dating an old boyfriend. if she doesn't have children and wants them, you should let her go though. as you know from reading my post, having children is an innate urge and it will come between you in the end b/c it does consume you to some degree. i can't imagine being with someone that didn't want children. not that your a bad person but maybe you are better off with a woman with prior children or the same feelings as you. this could be a big issue. just watch out. i know you don't want to be lonely and i know relationships are complex but i'm just warning you in the beginning. good luck, you're a good man and i know you will treat her right.

11:09 PM  
Blogger themadamefiles Screams...

Good luck my dear. It sounds like you have a lot of thinking and talking to do. Hope that you two can find a way to work things out ;-)

3:16 AM  
Blogger Jay Screams...

What a difficult jigsaw puzzle to solve here. Your problem lies between each other’s principles and believing.

It is best for both of you to think what it’s best because it is better to notice it before it is too late.

My dad is a catholic (From Seattle, WA) and my mom is a Muslim from Malaysia. They married without their family consent in California a year before I was born. When they got me, they started to fight on what will be the baby’s name and religion.. and their relationship started to turn ugly until they divorced when I was 8 yr old.

Do not follow my family dispute but what can I say, love is blind!

My Dad – From the extreme catholic family
My mom – From the extreme Muslim family
ME – FREE THINKER (I believe in GOD in my own way, mostly I mixed the principles from those 2 religions)

My dad re-married with catholic lady
My mom re-married with Muslim guy

Me – I just broke off with a free thinker girl!

Love sux!

5:13 AM  
Blogger Bookend Screams...

I wish happiness for you...with or without her...I know that the differences can be trying...religion...wanting or not wanting children...but there are positives to these differences...Most times we are brought together because there are lessons to be learned...and each of you holds a teaching for the other...maybe you are to teach her to explore all of her options before settling on one religion...maybe you are there to question her desire for children to help her be certain that is what she wants...Enjoy your time together...if these differences begin to stand in the way...don't wait too long to take notice...and find ways to discuss them...but don't leave until you've figured out your lesson to be learned...if you were in a relationship with her before...and now it is starting again...there is obviously something she has for you that you have yet to receive...

just some thoughts....

8:53 AM  
Blogger BM, The Necessary Movement Screams...

Bookend said everything I was thinking while reading your post. I say give it a go and stop thinking so hard and have fun being in love!! That means seeing you two are back on that our horror nights are going to be double dates!!! Wow like the old days!! I love you two!!! I wish you the best of luck!! Great news!!!

9:56 AM  
Blogger superfan Screams...

I'm glad you have a person now. I am completly non-religious, but my mum goes to church so I have respect for religious peeps.
Have fun not being single!

12:52 PM  
Blogger Gama Screams...

I know you scare of falling in love again, but sometimes we have to take chances for all there is.
I hope everything goes well for you... You deserve it.

2:12 PM  
Blogger Minega Screams...

I dont think religion should never be a barrier to real love. It's a fundamental difference evidently, but if the two of you are flexible you can always find a way to integrate that difference into your lives.

2:53 PM  
Blogger Julie Screams...

You know my husband and I are both opposites about spiritual/religious beliefs (not as much as he thinks, but alas) and sometimes it's been really difficult, esp when he gets all high and mighty and judgemental that there is 'only one way'. I can always quote him some jesus about 'God for all nations and all people... the kindgom is within..love your brother no matter what...'... but he just is too fearful of his soul and eternal damnation to think outside of his box that he has. It's easier for us to just agree to disagree and not talk about it very often.
Mostly for you though, I hope this brings you happiness and is what you want and fills your heart w/ joy!

6:28 AM  
Blogger dayna Screams...

Eeeks. Somehow I don't get the feeling you're very hapy to be with her again. Hope everything works out.

3:10 PM  

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