Monday, February 07, 2005


Had a meeting today at work and through it all all I could think is I don't want to be there anymore. It's all feeling so damn pointless. We waste so much of our lives doing stuff that serves no purpose.
I wanted to go see some of my friends, any of them actually, but everyone is always so busy it's like I need to schedual ahead of time, either that or I have to drive half the state to get to them and I just don't have the energy. Also I know I should spend time with my family, but everyone is so down that it just drags me further. Makes me feel so useless, I hate that.

Dreamt about the Demon the other night, like I needed that on my mind as well. I miss her so sometimes.

Got to find a way out of this funk. Other than drinking (or maybe along with drinking). Any suggestions?

12 Voices In The Darkness:

Blogger Joy Screams...

You always have such great advice for me. And oddly it seems our moods swing in the same direction a lot of the time. I am lucky I will be getting a break soon but I understand the need to gain some kind of happiness along with peace.

Im going with breaking out a couple xanax and a 40 oz at the moment. I dont suggest you doing the same, but it could help.

Ill be back later feeling a lot better.

9:14 PM  
Blogger Joy Screams...

Hate to fill up your blog but with the xan's working on my I found a great song to refer to for the mood you find yourself in.

Leaves are falling all around, It's time I was on my way.
Thanks to you, I'm much obliged for such a pleasant stay.
But now it's time for me to go. The autumn moon lights my way.
For now I smell the rain, and with it pain, and it's headed my way.
Sometimes I grow so tired, but I know I've got one thing I got to do...

*Ramble On, And now's the time, the time is now, to sing my song.
I'm goin' 'round the world, I got to find my girl, on my way.
I've been this way ten years to the day, Ramble On,
Gotta find the queen of all my dreams.

Got no time to for spreadin' roots, The time has come to be gone.
And to' our health we drank a thousand times, it's time to Ramble On

Mine's a tale that can't be told, my freedom I hold dear.
How years ago in days of old, when magic filled the air.
T'was in the darkest depths of Mordor, I met a girl so fair.
But Gollum, and the evil one crept up and slipped away with her, her, her....yeah.

Gonna ramble on, sing my song. Gotta keep-a-searchin' for my baby...
Gonna work my way, round the world. I can't stop this feelin' in my heart
Gotta keep searchin' for my baby. I can't find my bluebird!

12:58 AM  
Blogger superfan Screams...

Ok, I've always wanted to do this:

Get on a train/bus by yourself, with no bags or anything, just a bit of money. Make sure you dont know where its going, and just dont get off until it reaches its final destination, and then you're in some strange place (hopefully) where nobody knows you, and you can go to the beach or whatever and 'cotch' and give your mind 'time to breathe' or whatever.

4:02 AM  
Blogger BM, The Necessary Movement Screams...

Work sux!! Maybe you need a day off just for yourself to relax!!

12:46 PM  
Blogger Gama Screams...

I think I'm gonna go to my first hobby, DRINK!

1:57 PM  
Blogger Minega Screams...

Seffythelibertinian makes a very interesting suggestion- I'd love to do that myself someday.

2:41 PM  
Blogger superfan Screams...

Thanks, it's been a dream of mine for years. I must do it sometime - not when I'm still at home though, cos I'll be reported missing :)

3:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous Screams...

i always like to drown my sorrows with a sweet spliff. but i have been abstaining in hopes of a bundle of joy...
i just find it very odd that we all feel the same way but still remain disconnected from each other. i just feel disappointed with this "adult" thing. what ever happened to dropping by without calling? nowadays you do have to schedule an appointment to see someone. i don't have any answers or any songs but i feel your pain. i feel like its all hopeless also but you know you can't trust me to pull you out of your darkness b/c i live there myself. if you lived in ky you could drop by whenever to share a bong hit. that would make you and i both happy. maybe that's why i'm sad, i need weed.

8:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous Screams...

If at all possible, take a day or two out of work - preferably Thursday and Friday. You've got a lot on your mind now, so I think you have an excellent reason. You need to make yourself the focus of at least one of those days. Get a massage or something like that. Then, eat whatever you feel like eating. Watch some cheap horror movies that are so cheesy they make you laugh. Try to totally spoil yourself with the things that you like to do. When you feel refurbished, I think it'd make you feel better to spend some time with the family, but make sure you feel like yourself again first. Hope things are better soon!

8:56 PM  
Blogger Bookend Screams...

Find some time to not think about anything...I know it is hard...but just put down the alcohol forget the music, and take some time in silence...just listen to your body working...listen to the sounds the air around you makes...then eventually you will hear your heart telling you what you need, where to go, and what to do...

try it and if it works let me know...

10:44 PM  
Blogger Burfica Screams...

I like to make a dinner or order in a dinner of whatever my heart desires. Then even splurge on dessert. Then I watch a movie. Usually a good cry movie, sometimes a laugh your ass of movie. I then take a long hot bubble bath and read a while, then head to bed. Usually at least makes my body feel better, and sorta refreshes my mind. Cuz it was me time.

1:21 AM  
Blogger Kitten Screams...

I wish some guy would call me the "Demon".

I always think its funni when people bitch about driving long distances in any of the new England states.(ours included) ...Our states are as big as most Texas are just spoiled.

10:23 AM  

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