Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Having one of those nights

I've started writing this post 4 times now. I hate when I get like this. Feel like just giving the f*ck up. So damn sick of all of the crap, the day to day life. What good does it ever do? We all die in the end anyways, in time no one remembers us. We end up as a fading name on a tombstone or crumbling pictures in an album. Nothing I have done in my life will live past me, and I have no urge to change that. I'm just taking up space.

17 Voices In The Darkness:

Blogger SunGrooveTheory Screams...

Oh, Don't think that way, Honey. You have achieved more than you realize!!

2:03 AM  
Blogger Jay Screams...

Aza,

What you wrote will happen to all of us eventually. Someday, all of us will DIE. In no time, we will ALL BE FORGOTTEN.

What makes you think “We end up as a fading name on a tombstone or crumbling pictures in an album”??

Imagine, maybe in less than 100 years rotten in our coffin, when the future authority decided to built hi-tech buildings on top of it, they may dug us all out or to make the matter worst, they would leave us there and pour hot concretes on us!. We will all be trapped under some amusement park or some future “Trump’s” empire.

Nobody will remember us 100 years from the day we die. Photos in the album? Whose albums? Hahahhahaah.. what, you think your grand grand grand child bother to keep your faded yellowish photos in their albums?? Do you keep your grandpa’s photo with you now?

Sometimes I just wonder why we were born in the first place.

2:04 AM  
Blogger Jay Screams...

Im not being cruel or heartless here but… I don’t wish to be buried under some future buildings.

But 100 years from the day we die, who knows what will happen to our body, the one that we were proud of at once upon a time..

Im getting emotional already. Sorry Az.

2:07 AM  
Anonymous Midget Screams...

I hate when you get like this Too Az, because it's bullshit.
You have this HUGE list of friends you write about constantly on your blog (including me), and yet you always seem to get yourself in this crappy funk. I love ya, so does BM, and a shitload of other people. Next week's gonna be a bitch for me because Madden's coming out, and my store's gonna be crazy, but you damn well better call me and make plans to hang out, or I'm nailing your furry hide to my wall as a trophy. Then people will remmebr you.
Love Always-
Midget

2:49 AM  
Blogger MomThatsNuts Screams...

I get feeling that way too sometimes. Like my dad says, life is hard, and then you die...Im sorry your feeling rotten....I hope you feel better soon cuz you know that there are some people that would miss you....

mom

9:02 AM  
Blogger BM, The Necessary Movement Screams...

see i guess this is why I am a whack job, i like the fact that i am nothing, a crumb in a big bag of bread. It does mean nothing. I find comfort in that. We do die and no it won't matter nothing gained nothing changed. I will miss you though and so will the others who love you.

sorry you find this stuff negative!! come here to my side and you will find peice that life is a big pile of shit. It's much more fun knowing the truth then filling your head with great purpose. There is know purpose, if you need purpose just have fun. Its a stupid game that you MOST not take serious!!!!!!!!!!

9:40 AM  
Blogger Max Screams...

Hi Azathoth,
sorry for not commenting in ages... Summer is my "Lazy time"... I have these day's too. But I end up feeling happier. Don't feel so lousy though... In the end it's about what you leave behind and who you have effected. You may not be famous but you have defently really effected and inspired me... Cheer up!

2:32 AM  
Blogger Dorko Screams...

LOL - @ Midget's comment... real talent there, in motovational speaking... and... sounds like a true friend!
Also sounds like Midget is saying: "Suck it up" Aza.
Remember: You can count the seeds in a single apple - but you can not count the apples in a single seed. Whatever that means!

12:42 PM  
Blogger Ari Screams...

Hey, at least our blogs may live on. ;)

2:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous Screams...

I don't know if it means anything, but you've made me smile and even break down to tears from laughing at some of your great stories... many times. Yes, that's all stuff in the present. But we have to survive the present, so if you make the present better for someone, then that must mean some little something. Personally, I think you have a lot of people out there who feel the same way that I do about that.

2:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous Screams...

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3:32 AM  
Blogger She Must be Full of BS Screams...

I don't even know how to respond when you're like this, that's why I didn't reply sooner. Anything I could say would sound placating and stupid, and you'd problably come up with an argument against it anyway. I get so angry when you talk like that, because it's crap. So many people love you, now, and isn't that what really matters? And if nothing physically remains, years after you die, just think of all the people you've helped in your life, and I don't just mean the ones whose offenders you've flattened. Take me, for example. I'm forever grateful for your friendship, and support, and I'll be telling stories (about you, as well as the ones that I'm learning about for the first time here on your journal) of you to all my new pals out in Denver, and for as long as I live. As far as being forgotten in the years after death, well, join the club. What if I get re-checked one day and realize that I'm still unable to procreate? Or if I stick to my current feelings of not wanting kids? I'm the last one in my [immediate] family... noone to even have an album for me to fade in. So you're not the only one with thoughts like this, honey, and yet I know that if I died tomorrow, at least my friends would remember me fondly, and think about me now and then. Friends like you. Don't give up yet; you still never know what is to come.

I apologize if I seem a bit cranky. My journal post today explains why. I'm sorry for that, and for not being a better friend.

10:57 AM  
Blogger Rex Stultorum Screams...

While I understand the all-too-human tendency to want to "leave something behind" and thereby to live on after one's physical passing, sometimes I think perhaps that a life well-lived is one whose entire significance is completely exhausted in the living of it. To live always with the concern of "making a name for oneself" is to live enslaved by a principle concerning the approval of others.

Just BE DECENT, and LIVE WELL.

5:47 PM  
Blogger She Must be Full of BS Screams...

Hmph. If only I could be as succinct and insightful as Rex[and in as few words; I tend to ramble on]. Ditto what he said, too.

9:11 AM  
Blogger Dorko Screams...

...[she] had read in the Necronomicon about the mindless entity Azathoth, which rules all time and space from a curiously environed black throne at the centre of Chaos.

*Sighs*

I guess you're alowed to have an 'off' night every once in awhile! Cheerios2U, Aza!

4:03 PM  
Blogger Bookend Screams...

Even though I've only spent a few minutes in your presence...I would miss you...and in fact, I have a picture of you on my wall now...BM, wife, and son...and guess who else...all hanging there...makes me smile...so if you need anything I'm here...Its gotta be about something

4:53 PM  
Blogger Gama Screams...

Live like if was your last day, no matter what, you're still our friend who I will never forget.

12:25 AM  

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