Awake and thinking, what a Bad combo.

3:50 am. No sleep in sight. Insomnia sucks. I'm so wasted during the day, yet once the sun comes down my mind doesn't seem to want to call it quits. So I'm sitting here at my sisters, she's away in Canada so I'm using her house as a getaway for now, listening to the Indigo Girls remake of Tangled up in Blue, which I highly recomend to everyone. Babushka is coming to visit tom morn before she has to go to work. Some people are coming to look at the house so I can't be home tom. Still feels weird knowing that strangers are walking through my room. Neighbors should be home tom too, so no more using thier pool. Poop. Had a great storm tonight. Only lasted about a half anm hour, but there was thunder and lightning and the trees were whipping in the wind and the rain fell like the end of the world, apocalyptic type stuff. I just love a good storm. Mr B. offered to have me go with him to see the Poet tonight and I turned him down. Huh? Oh , maybe I should explain. See the Poet was a friend of mine through my Bro when I was younger, around high school years. He was a good kid, very sentimental and poetic. Quiet but good in a wierd kind of way. Even after Bro left for bOregon Poet and I would get together and go for walks and talks all over Staven. We'd go down the beach during storms and sit under a golf umbrella and he'd smoke some grass and I'd drink some wiskey and we'd watch the lightning on the water. He evntually met a girl and got a place and I'd go over for dinner sometimes. Then there was a small period when we just seemd to not be able to get together for a bit. No ones fault, juts life. Then one day I went to call and it said the phone was out of service. So I found time to go visit and well... turns out the Poet had moved and not remembered to tell me. That was about 7 years ago. Now it turns out Mr. B has kept in touch with him over the years and wanted me to go. Yet I just couldn't bring myslef to do it. I've always said that any friend of mine is a frined for life and no matter what happens I'll always welcome them back into my life, but this to me isn't him wanting to come back. Cauyse I've also always said that I won't force people to be friends with me, and going to see him now would feel like that to me. Maybe I'm wrong. Who knows eh? But it's the same reason I've never hunted down the Demon, or stopped by Heavens work, or tried to look up Biker Babe. If they miss me they know my number and they know I'll have a hug waiting for them. But I won't force them. Ah, maybe this is all just 4am thinking. That small hour in the morning when most people are asleep, which is good because the mind starts to act in odd ways. I've always said that 4am is when the nightmares come, maybe they come even if your awake. When the shadows move in the corner of your eyes, when the wind almost sounds like it's saying words you almost recognize, when the movements of the house don't seem so random. It's a fun time to be awake, if you can just keep the mind from wandering too far.