Sunday, December 17, 2006

Nuptuals

So I went to the Poet's wedding on Saturday. It was a good one as far as wedding go. Good music (Beatles, Miles Davis, Coultrane, and many more), good food, open bar (always a way to improve any social gathering).
But it does leave me with some questions about weddings.
Like, why is it that on what is supposed to be the happiest day of your life you are required to wear the most uncomfortable clothes? Whats wrong with jeans and a t-shirt? Or even slacks and a sweater if need be? Why a tie? High heels? It hurts to smile when your too dressed up.
Also, lets drop most of the ceremony already. I understand that once upon a time weddings were very religious based, but now it's more of a love/tax thing. You love the person, and will get your taxes lowered. Yeah, it's become all government based now. You need a wedding certificate, change you last name, change your tax standing, get blood test, ect. Lets drop the readings of Peter's letter to the Corinthians and all that. It's unnecessary. Spending an hour hearing about 'Oh the great Lord does sayeth thoust shallest loveth thy neighbors and be trueth..." Enough already. Do the vows, kiss, and then get ready to head out on the honeymoon. I'm not saying remove your god of choice from the ceremony, I'm just saying keep it simple and keep it short.
Also, if your a best man then at least stay sober long enough to give your speech. While Poet's brother did do a great job, I've seen too many best men who get up there with thier fourth glass of whatever and slur out some crap that either nobody understands or is embaressing. You wree givent his task because the groom trust you, be a man and live up to that trust.
That is another thing actually. Stay somewhat sober if your at a wedding. Even if just a guest no one wants to have to listen to you being loud and obnoxious while you think your being funny. This isn't a bar, it's an important event for someone who considers you either friend or family, and while you should have a good time it shouldn't make that person question why they invited you in the first place.
I still think that if I ever do get hitched it'll be a summer wedding at the beach in swimsuits so everone can go for a dip if they get hot. Dinner will be a BBQ, and afterwards everyone can do what they want because I'll be off to the honeymoon to have crazy monkey sex.
Peace.

11 Voices In The Darkness:

Blogger Burfica Screams...

oh oh oh two things I don't like at weddings. Well maybe three. Is--when people get so drunk they think they can dance. When they actually look like a bird shot out of the sky that is running away from a fox or something.

Or I hate when the bride and groom are sucking face on the dance floor. Come on!!! Not like your gonna be bumpin uglys soon or anything. Nobody wants to see you on the great tonsil hunt!!!

And if you choose to wear the whole "traditional" wedding clothes. DON'T FRICKEN DANCE TO ANY FAST SONGS!!!! YOU LOOK STUPID, YOU WILL HAVE WARDROBE MALFUNCTIONS, AND YOU WILL THINK YOU CAN PICK UP YOUR BRIDE AND BE CUTE, AND YOU EITHER DUMP HER ON HER HEAD, OR TRIP OVER THE FRICKEN WEDDING CAKE TABLE!!!!!

Okay that is my rant about weddings. lol.

Have a good day Aza

10:47 AM  
Blogger The Creeping Unknown Screams...

Growing up Catholic I endured MANY weddings where it seemed like the ceremony was longer than the actual marriage!! That being said, Dark Lord and I decided to have a 50 person wedding, at a small inn in Scituate, MA - ceremony was 20 minutes long (civil ceremony which incorporated our Catholic beliefs), no prayers, the ceremony was in the same room where the guests were. We had the best time ever and we've been together 8 years. We wanted everyone at the wedding to have a chance to meet others that mean the world to us. DL and I paid for the whole thing so the rents won't get nuts and start fighting. We didn't want any of that. Anyway, we're 35 and 37 LOL I wasn't going to ask my Mom to pay for the wedding LOL. We had the nerve to play Queensryche and KISS LOL LOL and there were drunken fools dancing to it too!! HA!!

After the wedding (5:30PM) we had an after party, jeans and t-shirts, and pizza. Good times.

7:15 PM  
Blogger The Creeping Unknown Screams...

Burfica, TOTALLY agree with you on the couple sucking face while on the dance floor!

7:17 PM  
Blogger Libby Screams...

aza-our wedding was planned on a wednesday..then we got married by a judge at city hall fri! took off for a weekend, then family threw us a reception a couple months later!
short & sweet! but it's lasted 17 years...

8:50 PM  
Anonymous Midget Screams...

Goddamn. I hope you enjoyed yourself at my wedding.

Christ, sounds like you were tortured.

(And he did NOT look like a wookiee in the tux.)
My service (if you want to call it that) took about 20 minutes. none of those catholic aerobics.

And we all got drunk and fat at the reception. What I remember was pretty good. AND I got laid. Good day all around!

--Midget

9:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous Screams...

stumbled across here, don't have an account, just wound up after a search for other things; just thought i'd chuck the double pennies;

you DO realize, don't you, that properly fitted clothes are comfortable no matter what style they are, right? you're not precisely REQUIRED to choke yourself. a proper shirt and tie feels like they're not even there.

9:51 PM  
Blogger The Lone Rangers Screams...

My next wedding will be on a beach with only close family and friends not the whole fiasco of people I havent seen since birth like the last one.

Attire will be shorts and tees, and wifebeaters (tank tops) on the women.

I will be wearing a tuxedo....tshirt.

7:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous Screams...

I agree! The shorter the wedding ceremony, the better!

9:37 PM  
Blogger neverending rainbows Screams...

It feel's awesome having money coming in!!! That's one thing for sure!! :D
Yay for pay cheques!

10:48 PM  
Blogger Dream Screams...

Sorry I haven't written bud... I broke my back and haven't been spending time on the computer... Everything is ok though. I can still work although I can't lift ANYTHING or do anything except sit at a desk or in front of the TV in the lobby ( I work at a hotel) so its great to get paid for doing nothing... :) The drugs are gooooooooooood.
Talk to ya later...

Andrew

8:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous Screams...

Oooo - poor Dream. My 2 herniated discs caused me so much pain, I can't imagine what a break is like... =o(

High heels eventually start to hurt no matter how well they fit or how expensive they are. If you have to stand a long time in them, that's just how it is. And brides do, pretty much.

I think the electric slide should be banned from all weddings. Forever.

9:57 AM  

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