Backwards

Looking back and seeing smiles past can be a fun waste of an evening. Remembering silly things and laughter from times gone by. Looking at old pictures and thinking about what was going on when the picture was taken. I love thinking about all the fun I've had with my friends. All too often my mind tries to dwell on the bad things. I fight it when I can. That's part of the reason I take so many damn pictures.  When things get hectic I make some time and gaze at my past. I wish I had pictures from my days in New Haven.  I have nothing to remember them by and sometimes I despair because I can't remember what most of my friends from this time looked like anymore. We had so many good times but they're all in my mind now and my mind keeps losing them. That's what happens with my mind.  I have some pictures from high school. But only a few. Again most of the good memories are mental and slowly slipping away. Most of my pictures come from Collage. Thankfully I'd learned by then to not trust my mind with storage and used the Nikon company to help. Now I can look at pictures and photo albums to help me remember the smiles. But when I see them I do remember and they make me smile all over again. Sometimes I wish I could go back and do some of these things all over again. Like take a time machine back and get to do stuff all over again. Relive all the good times. From the laughs, to the quiet moments, to the love making, to the trips, to the talks, all of it all over. And skip the bad parts. I wish I could just step into some of my pictures, go right back to the moment I took them. From collage to high school to x-mas to sexy photos (yes I have a few from some ladies who let me take them. From lingerie to just deep cleavage shots. These are kept separate.) to just about any photos I have. If I was taking a picture it was probably a good time. So I spend the night smiling about freinds and things long past, and it helps me look forward to all the good times I have ahead of me. If I should ever get a time machine I would go, but just to visit. I would have to come back just because There are so many smiles I have yet to see or have that I just have to see them all before I die. And if there's anything after this life then I'll keep seeing them afterwards when I start to haunt people. Which will make me smile.