These are the people in my Neighborhood: The Demon

Normally I check with people to get thier permission to post thier pictures. This is one of the few cases where I'm not doing that.
I started this blog about 2 years ago, just after she left me again. It was part of my way of dealing with an old familiar pain. The pain caused by a woman that I would have married if she had let me.
I first met her through her older sister in high school. We became friends and stayed that way for many years. I was friends with the whole family in fact. I started developing feelings for her just after she finished school. I got up the courage to tell her about 2 years later while she was in collage. She stoped talking to me for a year. Then we were friends again. We hung out all the time. She knew how I felt but also that I was leaving it alone. Then she stated flirting with me... Alot. So after about 2 years of it I asked her again to date me. She stopped talking to me for 4 years. Then she came back and told me she loved me and always had. She said she couldn't stay with anyone because she always compared them to me. So we dated finally. She left again 3 months later. That was 2 years ago. All in all it's been 16 years now.
She had something really bad happen to her when she was little. A family type happening. Do to this she has a hard time when it comes to dealing with certain emotions. She once told me that she only dates a**holes because thats how she's used to being treated, and that I make her feel special and she doesn't know how to handle it so she runs. I still don't know how to answer that. Part of me always says that there comes a point when you have to take responsibility for your actions. You become old enough to know the differance between right and wrong and can't spend eternity blaming a bad childhood. Yet for her I always seem to make an exception.
Do I miss her? Yes.
Do I wish she'd come back? Yes
Would I be friends with her again even after all the pain? Yes
Would I date her again?.....No.
I have Babushka now and will spend my life with her if things go right.
But the Demon and I have been so close for so long that I will always have a place for her in my life. In some ways she helped me be a person that I actually liked. I was more outgoing, more prone to do more than just sit around. We would go to the movies and to bars and sometimes just where ever we felt like it. We'd spend hours in book stores. We'd go clothes shopping for her and have a blast goofing off in the stores. We'd laugh so much my jaw would hurt. Despite all the pain and how mnay times she's broken my heart all I can remember is us skipping through the ailes at Wal-Mart and having a pillow fight in bed supplies. All I can remember is us in the movie theatres with her hiding her face at the scary parts. Of teaching her how to drive at the beach. Of pouring cold water on her while she was showering and her chasing me naked through her house. Of spending three days sitting in a hospital with her while she had food poisoning. Of her cuddling up to me the first time we slept in a bed together.
I have never loved someone the way I did her. I have never been the same person in front of anyone as I was around her.
Yes I have come close to killing myself over her. Yes I have cried so much from her over the years I could write a book. Yes I have some friends who want to shoot her. Yes I have some family that want to shoot her too.
But in some way she will always be one of my best friends.
In some ways she will always be one of my Angels.
Even if she is also always my own personal Demon.