This Year
Just to keep the trend of this year being bad one of my Aunts in Canada who went for sergery last week may not make it. Also my Cuz had his girlfriend of 3 years break up with him. And my Babushka got into her first car accident (shes not hurt, which is the only good thing about it).
This downward spiral needs to stop soon or I'm going to seriously Crack.
This downward spiral needs to stop soon or I'm going to seriously Crack.
These Echoes In The Silence Brought To You By Azathoth100 at 11:57 PM
Holding on to each other, even strangers, that is what makes it pass more easily. It is our humane connections that make evertying work, damn it.
To illustrate: Some years back, Had a car wreck with some teenage guy. Told him to stay calm, no one died, etc. He was calm when I talked to him. Police showed up, insurance calls were made (I let him use my cell phone.)
Got a call from his mom, apologizing that they were going to seek damages, but thanking me for being so nice. Apologetic.
No one died. And my rates didn't go up. (Thanks, random Mom.)
(She was pretty hot, too. That always helps.)
I like BeckoningChasm's advice. You are totally correct that this has been a sucky year so far.
*Sending you a cyber hug*
Oh hun, welcome to my world, and what a suck ass place it can be at times.
But we throw one hell of a party!!!!!!!! hehehehe
Yeah to that, burfica.
And, while it's true we DO help each other through tough times, I gotta tell ya, it may be that you don't know just how much it takes t'crack.
M'dog ran away, my two aunts died of cancer, my cousin (the son of one of the aunts) died of a heart problem, my dad died of a successful operation, and my first wife announced to me that she had been having affairs with some of m'friends and various others for some time and wanted a divorce....
wait. It gets better.
Me and Ma move to Indianapolis so she can be closer to my brother and his wife and kid, which she is until their divorce, but, she does well and gets in with a fabulous church group. Me? I meet a beautiful girl, get married and move back top Fort Wayne where I own a house...but, the housing market takes a big dive (1981) and I feel like pretty much stranded. The wife talks me into making a student loan, go back to school and learn commercial art, which I do, but, dang! I'm like already thirty and have some stubborn streaks in me and it ends up taking me four years to get a two year degree (and the dean of the commercial art department, when asked which would be better to learn:computer technology, camera and dark room techniques or lithography? Said lithography is an excellent choice, but, so is photography. As for computer, if ya don't have good design sense, the computer won't help you...) but, despite all that, I do graduate. The following summer, my Ma goes into a coma and for three months her face looks like there are monsters chasing her and then she dies. and then the wife moved to Indy while I was to fix the house and get it sold....it didn't sell, but I got it rented, moved down with her, and a month later, we had our first baby.
One month later, while feeding the baby powdered milk (wife was a big time asthmatic and had a heart condition, so she was on so many pills, her milk was outa the question) but, here was my baby, choking on an inhale, turning purple, so I rolled her over onto my knee and gave her a whack on her back, quick listen, still the "squeak" so WHACK again.....
Ah! Crying. Dang! Never in my life would I have thought that I would want to hear crying....until I saw my wife coming in at me from the other room with fire in her eyes and hell on her tongue! "Never do that! That's wrong! You could break her bones! Give me the baby! GET OUT! GET OUT!"
(I tried t'reason with her cause she was a nurse. First off, breathing is more important than bones, and second off,...bones in babies don't break with the kind of force I used. The emegency book I had read from her own demands said the same thing.)
The divorce was quick. Dang! And, just having rented the house, I had hardly anywhere t'go, but, lucked out big time when a guy I knew needed help watching his dogs while he was on vacation.
The wife had her lawyer add on to the decree that I was unfit to watch over the child till she was six without oversight, but, that didn't matter anyway, because she flat out stated that she didn't need me, didn't need my money, and it would be better if I died.
Then, the woman who was renting m'house stopped paying rent. But, she has two kids, both kinda young, and I think that I should wait until spring to kick them out. By spring and filing I find out that it'll be five months till I can get her and her two kids and her boyfriend out. And, when they finally do leave, they dismantle the house as best they could, sell the scrap metal and be on their way. I tried t'put the stuff together, but, can't before the citi-folks come calling, wanting some enormous amount to keep from foreclosing on my ass. The ex leans on her folks, who are rich, and decides I'll have nothing to do with the child at all.
.....(by the way, for all those who feel that we should do what it says in the bible? That is as wrong as it can be! That's not why those stories are there. And, in particular, for my part, the story of Solomon has not turned out well for me. The "harpy" won. The child lost a good dad and I lost a daughter!).....and she pretty much held that up in my face, cause for my daughter's sake, I made no ripples at all. The thing is, I had already seen what a terrible war over the children could do...each parent taking the child to task to dilike the other parent....that ain't called for. So, I felt that, as long as she could bring her up safely, it would all work out well.
And, if her parents hadn't died, it may have. But they did die, and she spent whatever money was availiable from the will on one of those bariatric thingies where they staple up the stomach, and now, she wants me to boot for college expenses and back payment to the tune of, hell, I dunno, a hundred thousand? Meanwhile, I was having the best year since leaving, having made 1800 for the year so far. The fact is, I've been so seriously into becoming an artist that for the last twelve years, I've been trying to "paint" my way outa m'hole. And, as a nurse, she makes as much in a year as I've made in the past eighteen years.
Still, her last line to me was, "I'm afraid they would put you in jail if I call the police," and the scary thing is, this being indiana, that's zactly what would happen. And, I reckon I'de end up staying there till I could prove to pay, but, dang, I degress....
This is about just HOW MUCH can a person take before cracking?
Sadly,....
.....a whole fucking lot.
Don't push the envelope in that direction, friend. Better to just handle what ya can as best ya can.
Sending Good, good, good vibrations to you right now!
m' cyber friend. =)
Very happy your Babushka wasn't seriously hurt!!!
Sounds like your due for some good news and if anyone DOES deserve it it's you bud...
oh, az, hasn't this whole f*ng year felt like it's been a full moon EVERY NIGHT???
aza....CRACK IS BAD......
hope it gets better man...
mom