Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Sometimes You Just Gotta Speak Thier Language

So as my longtime readers know I'm a big fan of H.P. Lovecraft, a horror writer from the 1920's. One of his most induring creations is a book called the Necronomicon, which he invented in a dream of his. It has appeared in many books and movies throughout the years, gaining a cult following of gullible people who believe it to be a real book. In fact sometimes they can be quite persistant in thier ignorance, as a friend of mine recently learned, although in the end he helped spread the false belief in a rather humorus way.
My friend, Lord P, lives in Beantown and works as a security guard at a prestigious library there. A while back he had a gentleman come in and ask to be allowed to peruse the rare and restricted book collection. As is procedure he told the man he had to fill out a 'purpose of research' card. The man filled it out, and while checking it Lord P saw that the book the man was looking for was the Necronomicon. Lord P told the man that they didn't have the book, and that in fact the book didn't actually exist. The man stated that he knew that they had the book and he wanted to see it. Lord P went on to explain that it wasn't a real book and no they didn't have a copy of it. The man continued to argue the point for about 10 min. Finnaly Lord P stood up close to the man, and having reached the end of his patience, whispered/yelled :
"Look, of the last 3 people who saw it 2 are dead and the other is locked up in an institution. It's had to be kept in a lead lined safe because any books around it start to decay. So NO WE DO NOT HAVE THIS BOOK AND IT DOESN'T EXIST!"
The man looked on in horror and then turned and proceeded rapidly out of the library.
So yes in some ways Lord P has helped continue the false belief in the book, but on the other hand some people just won't except reality and you have no choice but to speak to them in thier own language.

8 Voices In The Darkness:

Blogger Burfica Screams...

Again I say, Stupid people should not breed.

but that was dam funny.

1:37 AM  
Blogger BM, The Necessary Movement Screams...

another bullshit book is called the bible. More popular then the Necronomicon with a larger following. People scare me!!!!!!!!!!! They will believe anything in text, on TV, internet, if their dog tells them. People scare me. A small following = a cult a large following = a religion. You can get a can of tuna to religious status if you get enough suckers to believe it’s the holy ghost!!!

8:43 AM  
Blogger Libby Screams...

good post!! and, usually, it's easier to make yourself understood in 'their language!'

11:40 AM  
Blogger SunGrooveTheory Screams...

ROFL that is too funnnny Aza, thanks for the story! !

1:31 PM  
Blogger SunGrooveTheory Screams...

Hey, wait, guess what- apparently, is is a book by Donald Tyson or maybe even a few books

1:38 PM  
Anonymous Midget Screams...

Hey, you are hard to get a hold of!
I have Stag party stuff to talk to you about. call me.

11:05 PM  
Blogger boneman Screams...

Uh, it's Sonoma. I have no idea what the purple flowers are in the foreground, though I think they are cool!

Gosh...are we having a book burning here? I have a couple I'de like to throw into the fire.

Basic Rule of Military Justice

anything written by R. M. Nixon.

Most of the books written by Paul

10:55 AM  
Blogger Dorko Screams...

LOL! LOL! LOL! O, Lordy P - that was goood!

Thanks for sharing the story, Aza! =)

1:09 AM  

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