10 Resolutions at the years end....
I resolve to try and acomplish the following personal improvments in the coming year:
1. To finally learn to care enough about myself to start taking better care of me. Lose some wieght and get more exercise before I have that heart attack the doctor keeps warning me about.
2. Let go of the ghost of the past that seem to haunt me when I'm alone in the night. I need to realize that the things I blame myself for were often not my fault and those who are gone would be sad to know that I still carry the blame and guilt for things that were out of my control.
3. To find it within myself to actually SAVE money. I have a wedding and an apartment to save up for, yet I seem to keep finding ways to spend all my extra money. I have lived off of half of what I'm making now and there's no reason to increase my expendatures to match my income. It needs to be about the priorities.
4. To continue to do everything in my power to keep my Babushka the happiest woman in the world, she deserves every smile I can bring to her.
5. Rekindle some of the friendships that I seem to have let slip over the last few years. These are good people who have shared so much of my life, yet I have allowed time and distance to grow between us. I can find the time to visit and still maintane my sleep and work schedual. I miss thier hugs and smiles. Freindship only works if both people want it to and make the effort to keep it alive.
6. Learn to forgive more. Not to forget, because some of the people who have hurt me have proven that they are not worth trusting, but I need to let go of the anger, resentment, and hatred that I carry with me because of them. Bottling negative emotions is just a bad thing all around. I need to let go of them.
7. Stop being in such a rush. It's one thing to not want to be late for things, but that doesn't mean I have to be an hour or even a half hour early for everything. On time is fine, or even fifteen minutes maybe, but to spend over an hour sitting around because I was afraid of being ten minutes late is just obsessive.
8. Descover the fact that I don't have to buy things or pay for everything in order to make people like me. Chivlery is fine, but bouncing my bills because I HAD to pay for dinner for everyone is rediculous. I'll pay if I can, but if someone wants to do something it's alright to let them pay for themselves, if they couldn't then they wouldn't have suggested doing the thing in the first place.
9. Take the fraking CAP LOCK BUTTON off of my computer. I never use it, and I hate typing half a page of stuff only to realize I hit it by accident and have to redo the whole thing!
10. Spend more time seeing both my family and Babushka's. I normally hate family gatherings, either mine or hers, but in the end it is my/her family and there's nothing wrong with spending time with them. It gets to the point where I don't see some folks for ages till I get absolutly stuck at a major holiday. I love these folks, I need to stop seeing the gatherings as a forced visit and reacting like a rebelous teenager refusing to do what others want him to.
So there are my attempts at fixing things about myself that I don't like. the first step is addmiting to a problem, now for part 2......
1. To finally learn to care enough about myself to start taking better care of me. Lose some wieght and get more exercise before I have that heart attack the doctor keeps warning me about.
2. Let go of the ghost of the past that seem to haunt me when I'm alone in the night. I need to realize that the things I blame myself for were often not my fault and those who are gone would be sad to know that I still carry the blame and guilt for things that were out of my control.
3. To find it within myself to actually SAVE money. I have a wedding and an apartment to save up for, yet I seem to keep finding ways to spend all my extra money. I have lived off of half of what I'm making now and there's no reason to increase my expendatures to match my income. It needs to be about the priorities.
4. To continue to do everything in my power to keep my Babushka the happiest woman in the world, she deserves every smile I can bring to her.
5. Rekindle some of the friendships that I seem to have let slip over the last few years. These are good people who have shared so much of my life, yet I have allowed time and distance to grow between us. I can find the time to visit and still maintane my sleep and work schedual. I miss thier hugs and smiles. Freindship only works if both people want it to and make the effort to keep it alive.
6. Learn to forgive more. Not to forget, because some of the people who have hurt me have proven that they are not worth trusting, but I need to let go of the anger, resentment, and hatred that I carry with me because of them. Bottling negative emotions is just a bad thing all around. I need to let go of them.
7. Stop being in such a rush. It's one thing to not want to be late for things, but that doesn't mean I have to be an hour or even a half hour early for everything. On time is fine, or even fifteen minutes maybe, but to spend over an hour sitting around because I was afraid of being ten minutes late is just obsessive.
8. Descover the fact that I don't have to buy things or pay for everything in order to make people like me. Chivlery is fine, but bouncing my bills because I HAD to pay for dinner for everyone is rediculous. I'll pay if I can, but if someone wants to do something it's alright to let them pay for themselves, if they couldn't then they wouldn't have suggested doing the thing in the first place.
9. Take the fraking CAP LOCK BUTTON off of my computer. I never use it, and I hate typing half a page of stuff only to realize I hit it by accident and have to redo the whole thing!
10. Spend more time seeing both my family and Babushka's. I normally hate family gatherings, either mine or hers, but in the end it is my/her family and there's nothing wrong with spending time with them. It gets to the point where I don't see some folks for ages till I get absolutly stuck at a major holiday. I love these folks, I need to stop seeing the gatherings as a forced visit and reacting like a rebelous teenager refusing to do what others want him to.
So there are my attempts at fixing things about myself that I don't like. the first step is addmiting to a problem, now for part 2......
These Echoes In The Silence Brought To You By Azathoth100 at 4:11 AM
6 Voices In The Darkness
