Sunday, January 30, 2005

Hey Peach, More Duct Tape

This is a friend of my cuz's who won Prom King at a local Goth club by wearing a suit made entirely out of Duct Tape! (well, except for the black shirt). Sure beats dressing up as a ninja eh?


Chilis new build your own burger deal rules! It's so damn good. You get to pick whatever you want on your burger. I made one with:

Pepercrusted beef (2 patties)
garlic mushrooms
ranch dressing
chipolte peper sauce
awsome blossom sauce
jalepeno jack cheese
sliced jalepenos

It was a mess but tasted so good. I actually had to use napkins (normally my jeans will do). I love Chilis! Yea! Food rules!

Brooks and Dunn

All those nights of drinking
have finally got me thinking
a heartache is just a waste of time

I've been burned
I've been cheated
but this old hearts still beating
ain't no big deal
it's just whiskey under the bridge

Friday, January 28, 2005

Cro-Mag does good!

Hey Jay+ Joy! Thanks for the help. I now have a link to the blogs I try and visit whenever I can.
To everyone on it, if you don't want me to link to you just leave me a comment (I know some on this list that might not appreciate too many visitors and may ask me to drop them.). If I forgot someone let me know, I do most of this by memory and my memory isn't what it used to be (Senility creeping up).
Just to elaborate, those under the title Dead But Dreaming are ones who either post very irregularily or haven't in quite a while. If they do come back to regular posting I'll change thier position.
Now I feel like I accomplished something today!

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

A smile and some thoughts

Got a call from one of my nephews last night. No reason, he just wanted to call and tell me he loved the Spider-man figures I had gotten him for X-mas. He knew he had thanked me before but wanted to make sure I knew how much he liked them. And also that he loved me.
Talk about making someone feel good. I can't get this smile off my face.

I got to see Babushka the other night. We always have a good time. I know that to some degree she wishes we could go back to being what we were once before, But I know that I can't give her what she wants out of life (Kids). Yet I do love her and am so glad she's in my life. She always makes me smile and I don't think I tell her that enough.

Speaking of smiles, finally getting to see BM and family tom. night. I haven't gotten to see them since Nov and am going through withdrawl. In so many ways they are one of the keys to my happiness, a reminder of how life is meant to be. I am so happy to be able to watch thier lives unfold and would do anything to help them if they needed it. They are great people who deserve all the happiness they've found together. Time with them is something I've come to treasure and can always brighten any day.

I also need to get out and see my little Sis soon. I feel like I haven't gotten to Sis-nap her in a while (Like kidnap but ...well you get the idea). The last time we spent time together was because her hubby had to go to the hospital. I need to go make her laugh again soon. It always seems like work scheduals keep us apart. But I'm a stubborn bastard and will get my way eventually.

Alekx and Burfica's Mom is on the upswing. That was one of the best news I got once I got on the comp today. Congrats to them Both. Funny how I can feel so good over things happening to people I've never even met. Yet in some ways I've come to look at some of my fellow bloggers as friends. And in case I haven't said it, I'm glad to have met you all. Wether you post about your lives, thoughts, likes, dislikes, poetry, or just random stuff, I enjoy my time peeking into your mind and life. From Bm to Joy to Irie to Kitten to Gama to Mooker to Julie to Alekx to Burfica to Jay to Blog Ho to Minega to Bookend to Denise to Gundam Schlong to SamR to Bedsheet Kid to... Ok I can't list all 40 it would be too damn big. If I didn't list you sorry, but you know I would if I had the space and time.

Oh and Billjay, I am going to give it a try, I just have to wait till I have enough time on the comp. If any of you have any objections to my linking with you let me know. At present I have about 40 blogs I check when I can. Some are regulars, some are occasionals, some seem to be done, and some don't allow posts, but I try and check them all just in case.


Tuesday, January 25, 2005

In Memory... (revised)

Meesha- Overdose on medication
Tina- Beaten to death by boyfriend
Tamera- Cancer
Dolphin- Hit by drunk driver
Bryan- drove car into tree while drunk
Denise- Cancer
Theresa- Overdose on sleeping pills
Lisa- Slit wrists in bath
David- Drove car into tree (He was Lisa's fiance. Died 2 weeks after her.)
Barbra- Cancer
Nana- Cancer
Anthony- shot by ex-drug dealer
Evelyn- Brain anurism
Candace- Hit and run
Grandpa- Old age
Paul- Blew brains out
Yvonne- Died in sleep

17 funerals since 1988. That averages 1 per year. That only includes freinds and family, not family of friends (Like my Sis's dad, My Bro's grandpa, or BM's wife's Dad). This is not good. I'm having a 'remembering them' night. I miss them all. I'm sick of funerals. The next one I go to had better be mine, no one s allowed to go before me.

Actually it was 18. I forgot Margie who died of a Heat attack. This is what happens when you post while drinking. Sorry Margie, I miss you too. That makes it more than 1 a year. Man that sucks.

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Chickening out

I recently asked for help putting up a link secion to my blog. I had 2 responses on how to do so (Thanks Billjay and Joy) but the one thing I noticed amoung it all was the warning that if I screw it up I could permently damage my blog. So I chickened out. To be honest I suck with Computers and have managed to crash my cuz's that I use several times, so I'm not willing to risk all of my past posts and comments for the sake of a link. Sorry. If there was an idiot proof way of doing it maybe, but once things get technical I need to just step away.

Friday, January 21, 2005

BM visits

This is getting rediculous. Due to several differant factors I haven't gotten a chance to hang out with BM and his family since November. We put things off due to the holidays at first (Other than a quick stop to give them thier gifts). Then Hottie was sick so we waited through that. Then when we were supposed to start again it snowed. Then I had to work late the next time. Now I may have to work late again. This just sucks. It's been far too long since our last Bad Horror Movie Night. Seeing them together (Along with Little C thier son) has always been a way for me to smile, they're just so damn fun. I feel like its been forever. Damn.

Thursday, January 20, 2005


Does anybody know what the hell is wrong with Blogger? I am having a lot of trouble posting or commenting? Are they having server problems or what? Anybody?


Been very busy in life recently, that's why I haven't posted or commented in a bit. Hoping things slow down this weekend. Hope everyone's doing good.

Saturday, January 15, 2005


Does anyone know how the hell to add links to your blog? I see them on the sidebar of other blogs but can't figure out how to do it on mine. A Cro-mag stuck in a neanderthal world. I have so many Blogs that I stop by and visit that I'm starting to have to write them down in order to remember them all. Then there are the ones I used to visit that don't seem to post anymore (Like Theeventualdream or Constantphoenix or Brendragon). Then there have been a few that have litterally disapeaerd off the face of the blog (Like the Corporatewhore). I even have a few that post so irregularily that I only check on them sometimes (like Mumblingidiot or Swordfishsblog or Worldofstatic). I would love to help spead the world of Blog, I just don't know how. Help!?!?

Returning the favor

For anyone who hasn't seen it is a neat one to check out. It's home to The Bedsheet Kid, one of the Blogs first official superheroes. Stop by and tell him hi.

Friday, January 14, 2005

To those who have left

It's a journey
that takes a lifetime
and for a while
we walked together

Now your gone
onwards down
the path you choose
away from mine

I'll miss you so
your smile sweet
your voice and

Good luck to you
and who may know
someday somehow
we may walk again

Should we meet
as the walk goes on
I'll smile at you
and remember

But should I reach
the clearing at the end
I'll wait for you
My friend

Old revisited

So I got a call from an old friend of mine yesterday. She's someone I met in collage and was friends with for a few years till she moved without telling me about a year and a half ago. I've had no contact since until yesterday when she calle dme up and told me I should come over and see her new place, almost like we never had the split. I'm not sure how to handle it, do I risk getting chummy again with someone who has shown that she can drop our friendship without warning? I know I allow several other that privilage (like the Demon who comes and goes as she pleases). But do I need another one like that in my life?

Sunday, January 09, 2005

Heaven is so far away

I was re-reading some old e-mail. I miss Heaven. We were friends for a long time. We were more than friends. I miss her. The laughter, the silliness, the fun we had. The love we once had for each other. She was a good person to know. I wish her and her family well. I just wish there was still room in her life for an old friend. I hate losing people I love.

Behind Blue Eyes (Selected Verses)

No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes

No one knows what it's like
To be hated
To be fated
To telling only lies

But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free

No one knows what it's like
To feel these feelings
Like I do
And I blame you

No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through

But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free

No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes

Disturbed "Stupify"

do you like playing around with
narrow scope of reality
can feel it all start slipping
I think I'm breaking down

Saturday, January 08, 2005


My little Kells Bells is getting a mortgage. I'm very happy for her but I must admit she is the last person I know who I ever pictured owning a house. She has a rather "Checkered" past and although I've always done my best to help her wih her problems and addictions for a while there I truly thought she would never get past them. Now here she is, a mother, wife and soon a homeowner. So there is hope for the downtrodden of this world. You go Kelly. I'm proud of you.

Friday, January 07, 2005


In this glass
lies voices deep
they talk to me
of forgetfulness
but they are hard to hear
buried beneath liquid
that I must drain
to hear them clear

They say I can
get past the pain
and sleep tonight
with thier help
to lose my dreams
not toss and turn
if I can just
reach them

Yet it seems
the more I drink
the farther away
the world becomes
but still the voices
keep on calling
beconing me away
from this life
I've come to hate

Wait for me
friends in the glass
I come to talk
this over
and learn
the secrets
you offer.....

New year

So to start the new year off right someone backed into my car and dented the trunk in. This does not bode well....

Monday, January 03, 2005


Thank U Sokmunky! This Rules! Check it out!

Counting Crows

I guess the winter makes you laugh a little slower,
Makes you talk a little lower
about the things you could not show her

And it’s been a long December
and there’s reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better
than the last
I can’t remember all the times
I tried to tell my myself
To hold on to these moments
as they pass

Time passed

Started the year dating the Demon. A Dream come true, she had come back again and was in love with me.
Isis was missing in Florida.
Felt like I was losing Heaven.
Spending time with Babushka, Sis, BM&family, J$, Cuz's.
In line to be made manager at work.
Planning on losing wieght.

Demon left.
Isis returned, we fought for the first time and now there's a distance due to a personal choice she's made.
Reunited with Roe.
Still losing Heaven, farther than ever.
J$ off to San Damn Diego. Came back to visit on Turkey day.
Got to Canada, saw relitives haven't seen in 5 years.
Lost Bro's granpa, got to see Bro and family though.
Sis lost father.
Quit Job, started selling shiny things.
Started Blogging.
Got to see Brendragon.
Aunt died.
Bm&Hottie having kid pt.2.
Saw old friend Vinmaster.

Ending year Missing the Demon lots.
Missing Heaven.
Missing Isis.
Haven't seen BM for a month due to holidays and Hottie being sick.
Haven't seen Roe due to holidays.
Babushka in Puerto Rico.
Back in contact with Midget again.
Still close to Cuz's.
Occasionally hear from J$.
Have found other Bloggers who are good peoples.
End of Web TV.
Feeling old.
Fatter than ever.
Tired too much.
Tired of life sometimes. But too stubborn to stop yet.

Welcome 2005, lets see what turns lie up ahead. Life hasn't broken me yet.

Sunday, January 02, 2005

2004 in review (A toast to Kitten and Coffeegirl)

What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
Dated the Demon.

Did you keep your New Years' resolutions?
No. I still worried way too much.

Will you make more for 2005?
Maybe. I need to lose weight and, as always, stop worrying so damn much.

What places did you visit?
Canada for the first time in 5 years.

What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Being with the Demon. BM&Hottie kid pt. 2. Isis back in my life. Seeing Beauty and the Beast on Broadway with Babushka.

What song will always remind you of 2004?
Sleeping in by the Postal Service

What events merited celebration?
BM&Hottie kid pt. 2, Tanya's marriage, Isis being back.

Did anyone close to you give birth?
Not yet. Next year.

Did anyone close to you die?
My Aunt Yevonne. Robs Grampa.

What do you wish you'd done more of?
Had Sex.

What do you wish you'd done less of?
Worrying. Being heartbroken. Being depressed.

Who did you spend the most time on the phone with?

What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
A better paying job. Where's that winning Lotto ticket when you need it?

What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory?
January 28th 2004, the day she left again

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Mohegan Sun Casino turning 31. (Over the hill and running down)

What did you want and get?
Quiet time with the ones I love.

What did you want and not get?
Money (I know all poor people)

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
The Demon not leaving

Did you suffer illness or injury?
vertBad back, broken Heart, Ulcer (Still)

What was the best thing you bought?
Stephen Kings Dark Tower pt. 7

Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
The Demons (She keeps popping up in this thing)

Where did most of your money go?
Car Payment and X-mas gifts

Compared to this time last year, are you......

Happier or sadder?

Thinner or fatter?

What was your greatest musical discovery?
Postal Service (thanks BM)

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
Jeans and a T-shirt, same as always. Somethings never go out of style.

Who were the best new people you met?
The Bloggers who read this. My co-workers at Jewelry store.

Did you fall in love in 2004?
I started the year in love. I still Love her. I also still love Isis. And Babushka. And Heaven. And Meesha. And Rie-Rie Head.

Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Making the people I care about laugh throught a very hard year.

What was your biggest failure?
Losing her again.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004.
We get one chance at this. We're all going to make mistakes, we're all going to lose things and people. But life goes on anyways. You can sit and regret if you want but you won't get the time you spend doing so back anymore than it will bring back the thing your missing.


Name 3 names you go by:
Jeff. Wookie. Buttons

Name 3 things you like about yourself:
I make people laugh. I make a good friend. Um... Thats about it. Sorry.

Name 3 things you hate about yourself:
I don't make a good boyfirend (apparently). I'm fat. I can't change the past.

Name 3 parts of your heritage:
Canuk through and through.

Name 3 of your everyday essentials:
Blistex, Hugs, Music

Name 3 things that scare you:
Being alone. Losing friends. Reincarnation

Name 3 reasons you have broken up with ex's:
Distance (she was moving to Florida), Differant future plans (She wants kids), Death (She overdosed on medication)

Name 3 things you want in a relationship:
Someone to hold at night, someone to wake up with in the morning, And (yes Kitten) someone to collapse with, driping with sweat, after some intense wake the nieghboorhood up sex.

Name your 3 favorite pastimes:
Reading, Blogging, Collecting Comics (Yep I'm a comic nerd)

Name 3 things you want to do before you die:
Help the Demon past her own Demons, Help my Sis find happiness, and Give the Ant Muchas Smuchas one more time.