Sunday, November 27, 2005

Goodbye Katty

They found Kathryn Spratley's body yesterday. She had been missing for a few days now. The darkness that she had been fighting the past few years finally got the better of her despite both medication and psychiatric help. She will be missed much greater and by far more people than she could have ever dreamed. She was married to my cousin James. She was a good person. Goodbye Katty.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Giving Thanks and Naming Names

With Thanksgiving almost here I had an old friend point out to me that I have a lot worth giving thanks for in my life. Last year I wrote a few individual post to specific people. This year I'm doing one big one to everything and everybody. So Settle in this could take a bit.
(Also, I will be breaking one of my rules and using peoples real first names (except for bloggers for whom I'll use thier blog names). Sorry if anyone gets mad but deal ok?)

To my family who despite all my faults have seen fit to not deny my bloodline. Wether alive or passed away they have helped to make me who I am today (so it's partly thier fault!). I can't name them all (the differance between a long post and a way too long post) but I do thank them all. In particular (in no order): Ron, Patricia, Terry, Kelly (Yes, even her), Ruby, David, Heather, Patrick, Ryan, Laura, Adam, Cyril, Beatrice, Eva, Russell, Marjorie, Christopher, Nicole, Nicolas, Samantha, John, Penny, Tanya, George, Maureen, Shani, and so many others.

To my childhood friends who played with me even though I was the fat kid. They helped make childhood less of an evil time than it otherwise would have been: Rob, James, Daniel, Greg, Matt, Jason, Rick, Sal, Frank, Sean, Tim, Timmy, Micheal.

To those high school friends who helped me through maybey the hardest times in my life. Some stuck around longer than others, but they all helped keep me sane: Jeff, Frank, Dan, Jon, Brian, Toni, Megan, Stacey, Jake, Jeff, Chris, Marcus, Jennifer, Cliff, Tracy, Fred, Bill, Michelle, Will, James, Christine, Chris, Wayne, Andrew, Carolyn.

To those outseid of high school who kept me from doing anything too bad with my free time: Ja, Tawney, Dwight, Tom, Mark, Maria, Dave, Lisa, Phil, Brian, Belinda.

To my collage friends, where several of my longtime friends have come from: Stacey, Kelly, Brian, Katie, Bob, Spence, Michelle, Michelle, Jay, Kurt, Brett, Dan, Rich, Kesha, Pam, Bill, Jerry, Frank, Rob, Vinnie, Rochelle, Kris, Christine, Brenna, Gerwin, Scott, Bernie, Nicole, Rosie, Alicia, Paul, Karen, Amanda, Kymb, Delia, Shelby, Brian, Noel,Danielle, Sonya, Jackie, Theresa, Tom, Mike, Steve, Steve, Ed, Ginny.

To friends who started out as friends or relations or lovers of other friends: Tony, Sara, Chrissy, Maxine, Patty, Ken, Christie, AJ, Mary, Dennis, Rich, Amy, Iris, Jen, Sue, Tim, Shaun, Candice, Greg, Jim, John, Marissa, Nacy, Nelson, Kenny, Jerry, Joe, Mike, Vinnie, Vinnie, Heather, Donnie.

To the kids of my friends, the little scamps who I love to see but also don't mind to give back when the diaper was full: Ivy, Micheal, Conner, Cameron, Terance, Terelle, Rissa.

To my co-workers who were also friends and over the years helped make 40 hours pass so fast: Andrew, Karen, Steve, Debbie, Gerry, Kristen, Carlos, Kirsten, Ed, Denise, Lisa, Joe, Eileen, Andrew, Mike, Heather, Pete, Ed, Bridgette, Craig, Bob, Marci, Marcos, George, George-ann, Sammy, Ferd, Evelyn, Doug.

To the women who've shared my bed. They have been both lovers and friends and will always have a place in my heart: Jackie, Sharon, Jill, Meesha, Ruth, Elysia, Marie.

To my blogger friends who help make the computer something I can't live without: Mooker, Joy, Kitten, Alekx, Burfica, Creeping Unknown, Recovered Believer, BedSheet Kid, Seffy, Jadedprimadonna, Jay, Bookend, Gama, Quz Boss, Neverending Rainbow, Julie, Dorko, Ari, Sungroovetheory, Nutty Mom, Whyfee, Madame X, Threeolivemartini, Grey-eyed Dan, Glod, Parinoid Android, Kerry, Lone Rangers, Iriebutterfly, Dayna, Peach, Minega, Tiamat, SamR, Lindsey, Rebekah, Libby, Howard, Karla.

To the writers who've filled my head with fiction: Steven, Clive, Howard, Agatha, Tolkien, Terry, Dean, Brian, Gary, Jim, Berkley, Bill, Scott, Gordon, Darby, Gary.

To the little things in life that have helped keep me going: Jack Daniels, Absolut, Guiness, Comics, Cards, Hallmark, Music, Movies, Photgraphy, Big breasted women, East Haven Beach, East Haven Graveyard, .....

Ok I'll stop there before this gose on for another few pages. You get the idea. To all these thing and people and to so much more than I can put in this blog... Thank you. If I have forgotten anything or anybody in my sad and slowly fading mind forgive me.
Have a great Dead Turkey Day everyone. May you also find a great list of things to be thankful for.

Jeff (AKA Azathoth)

Monday, November 21, 2005

Blogs come and go

I'd like to welcome Jay back to blogging. He was gone for a bit due to surgery but is back and I for one am glad. Welcom back old friend. I'm sure the cats were glad to see you up and moving again!

Unfortunatly both Gama and Kitten seem to have decided to leave us. Both of thier blogs are no longer avaliable. I wish them both well and will miss them on here. Kit, I hope the family keeps doing well. Your a wonderful woman and mother. G, I'll miss your poems my friend. I hope your heart finds a way to heal, your too great a guy to be in pain for long.

Seems like my Dead But Dreaming column is getting way too long!

Monday, November 14, 2005

Time doesn't heal all wounds.

Sunny days seem to hurt the most
Wear the pain like a heavy coat
I feel you everywhere I go

See your smile, I see your face
I hear you laughing in the rain
Still can't believe your gone

It ain't fair you died to young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I've been through
Just knowing, no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder, who you'd be today

Would you see the world
Would you chase your dreams
Settle down with a family
I wonder what would you name your babies

Someday's the sky's so blue
I feel like I can talk to you
And I know it might sound crazy

It ain't fair you died to young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I've been through
Just knowing, no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder, who you'd be today

Today Today Today
Today Today Today

Sunny days seem to hurt the most
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
The only thing that gives me hope
Is I know, I'll see you again someday

Someday, someday

Kenny Chesney
"Who You'd Be Today"

Had to pull over to the side of the road when I heard this today for the first time.
It's been 18 years Meesha,
and I still miss you.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Beauty nothin... Age is in the eye of the beholder.

So just as I'm leaving work today a guy and his girl come in to pick up thier rings. As I'm walking by the man turns to me and says "You're name's Jeff isn't it". I stop and look at this guy, he's about my hieght, a little heavy (but not as bad as me), looks about mid-thirties or so. In fact he looks a bit old to me, you know what I mean, someone who's been down the path a ways. So I reply, "Yes..." to which he says "We went to school together ! I'm A-Bomb (not his real name but as you all know I use nicknames to protect the innocent)!".
I stopped dead. He was in my grade! He's my age! But he looks so damn old and worn out! WTF!
So I say "Oh wow man, how you been?" He goes "I just got married and I own a little place down in N.H.". I look at his wife and unless she's just got a centralized weight problem then the wedding date will only be a few months before the kids B-day.
I made an excuse to leave and got the hell out of there. Now I feel old. I mean, I didn't think I looked that old, but if he's the same age maybe I'm just fooling myself. Also, what the hecks up with the fact that everyone and thier grandmother can still recognize me? I don't think I look the same, I got the beard and stuff, so why can they all spot me from mles away. I have people I don't even remember come up to me and be like "You're Jeff, we went to nursery school together!" (yes this has happened before). How is it I can feel the same, look enough like my old self to be recognized, yet be as old as the people who keep saying hi to me?
Damn I feel old now.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Dodging the Bullett

Well, I haven't been fired....Yet. Actually left early today to avoid a corporate visit. My new boss keeps telling me they can't fire me this close to the holidays, but I'm also partially afraid if they get me pissed I might quit, and I don't want to do that before I have a new job lined up. I'll keep everyone posted.

Friday, November 04, 2005

Unhappy Note

I may be losing my job. It'll suck having to look for new work this close to Xmas. I'm hoping they won't get rid of me just because we are so close to the holidays, they don't have time to train a new person, but my DM and I had a rather exlosive talk and I think when I go in tom they might ask for my keys. This sucks. But I'll keep my fingers crossed and will also start looking for new work even if I'm not fired right away. Just don't know where to go to look. Ugh.

I've finished the Stand, Skeleton Crew, Dolores Clairborne, and Nightmares and Dreamscapes. Think of starting It next. Maybe if I am fired I can finish it tom.