Monday, November 29, 2004

How many of these cartoons can you name?

Why did they need Gleep if they had Gloop?
They wanted to make sure we knew the gender of the hero.
He wasn't always a talk show host.
Sven was only in charge of a lion for one episode.
Who thought calling the fat guy Tiny was funny?
Hank, Diana, Bobby, Eric and Shiela were ok names, but who names their kid Presto unless they know he'll be a magic-user?
Who was the comanding officer? Duke or Hawk?
Wouldn't the Sun sword have burned his hands?
Damn wanna be transformers.
I am the shadow that flaps in the night! Let's get dangerous!
If you cut Janns hands off could he and Jana not use their powers?
Boober rules!
Oh, new pain! Another stunt gone wrong.
The cat version of Courage.
I didn't want to eat them after I saw them bounce on their buts.
Penny and Brain should have sued him.
Mean, green, and Strong as hell.

Also, does anyone else remember the Silverhawkes?


Can't seem to sleep. Keep waking up in the middle of the night. Some dreams, but mostly just waking up for no reason. it sucks. Got so tired tonight I ended up leaving my friends house (J$. It was great seeing him.) at 7 so i could go and get sleep for a while. I just feel so exhausted. Don't know if it's stress from work, holidays, or what. But I need to get a good nights sleep soon or I'm gonna loose it.

Saturday, November 27, 2004

Future plans.

Black Friday sucks. Being in retail sucks. I really need to win the lotto soon.

Thursday, November 25, 2004

A true thanks

I would like to say, this Thanksgiving, that more than anything else I'm thankful that I didn't pull the trigger the night of my 23rd birthday. I appologize to Meesha, I always swore I wouldn't see the 10 year anniversary of her death. But had I kept true to that promise (one of the very few I have ever broken. I'm kind of anal about promises and don't make them unless I know I can keep them) I would have missed out on so much of what were the good times of my life. From the friends to the lovers to the laughter, I'm thankful I got to experience them all. There has been pain, but there has been love as well. I don't know what tomarrow holds, I can't see the future, but for today... I'm thankful.

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Home for the weekend

My friend J$ is back from San Damn Diego for the weekend. I'll get to see him for the first time since he left earlier this year. Funny how I got so used to seeing him every Sunday that once he was gone I didn't know what to do Sunday nights anymore. I hate when people move, but it's going to be good to see him.


Sung to the tune of 'Let it Snow'

Oh, The weather outside is frightful
But the weather outside is frightful
And the weather outside is frightful
The weather outside is fright-ful

Well, the weather outside is frightful
But the weather outside is frightful
And the weather outside is frightful
The weather outside is fright-ful

When the weather outside is frightful
How the weather outside is frightful
But the weather outside is frightful
Oh, the weather outside is frightful

The weather outside is frightful
But the weather outside is frightful
And the weather outside is frightful
The weather outside is fright-ful

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

A Few Quotes from Pratchett

There was a thoughtful pause in the conversation as the assembled Brethren mentally divided the universe into the deserving and the undeserving, and put themselves on the appropriate side.
-- The Elucidated Brethren see the light (Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!)

People who are rather more than six feet tall and nearly as broad across the shoulders often have uneventful journeys. People jump out at them from behind rocks then say things like, "Oh. Sorry. I thought you were someone else."
-- Carrot travels to Ankh-Morpork (Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!)

They both savoured the strange warm glow of being much more ignorant than ordinary people, who were only ignorant of ordinary things.
-- Discworld scientists at work (Terry Pratchett, Equal Rites)

It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.
-- (Terry Pratchett, Jingo)

'It is always useful to face an enemy who is prepared to die for his country,' he read. 'This means that both you and he have exactly the same aim in mind.'[p. 207, from "Veni, Vidi, Vici" by general Tacticus]

Nature, in fact, abhors a lot of things, including vacuums, ships called the "Marie Celeste", and the chuck keys for electric drills.
-- (Terry Pratchett, Pyramids)

Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwhile careers in the street-cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack of understanding of this simple fact.
-- (Terry Pratchett, Moving Pictures)

There are hardly any excesses of the most crazed psychopath that cannot easily be duplicated by a normal kindly family man who just comes in to work every day and has a job to do.
-- (Terry Pratchett, Small Gods)

The question seldom addressed is where Medusa had snakes. Underarm hair is an even more embarassing problem when it keeps biting the top of the deodorant bottle.
-- (Terry Pratchett, Soul Music)

The class was learning about some revolt in which some peasants had wanted to stop being peasants and, since the nobles had won, had stopped being peasants really quickly.
-- (Terry Pratchett, Soul Music)

People who didn't need people needed people around to know that they were the kind of people who didn't need people.
-- (Terry Pratchett, Maskerade)

Just because someone's a member of an ethnic minority doesn't mean they're not a nasty small-minded little jerk [...]"
-- (Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay)

The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head.
-- (Terry Pratchett, Hogfather

"Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life."
-- (Terry Pratchett, Jingo)

Thanksgiving thoughts pt.3: BM&Family

I met both BM and his wife in collage. My friend Midget introduced me to the Hottie. BM just turned up one day. At the time they were just friends, but even then everyone could see how much they cared about each other and how good they would be when it happened. I watched them both go through some relationships, wondering why they couldn't see what everyone else could. Finally , thanks to heavy drinking, they ended up being the couple we all knew they should be.
I have always been a strong believer in love. Yet so many times I have watched it fall apart, for myself and others. But through it all there has been Bm and the Hottie going strong. They have thier fights, but they never last long. (BM doesn't have the attention span needed to stay mad for long. It's one of his better points). Ever since I saw them as a couple I knew that no matter what happened in life they would find a way to get through it together. From being a couple to living together to getting a place together to buying a house together to the birth of thier son little C to the recent pregnancy pt 2. They have been an inspiration to me. Athough times and money have been tough sometimes, they held together. I always smile around them, you just can't help it. They have differant tastes then most ( She loves the 80's and goth. He loves old punk, old metal, and some new stuff that you don't hear on the radio ( except certain odd stations). She can do the white girl dance for the 80's to a tee. She likes to occasionally strike wierd poses just for the hell of it. He drives while doing the old metal sign (devil sign with you hands) and will sing songs about chikens and particle board.). They both have a slightly warped sense of humor. (Try asking him what he got her for thier first Valentines. They kept it in thier living room for years.) We get together and watch bad horror movies and eat (food rules!). Anytime I get depressed I know if I see them I'll end up laughing. BM can't be serious for more than a couple of min. and his laughter is infectious. The Hottie will soemtimes just laugh at his antics, or sit and smile at him with such a look of love on her face it almost feels like spying to look at. They have proven to be phenominal parents who little C is so lucky to have. They love him as much as they so obviously love each other. Just as they will the up and commer that will soon cause the Hottie to break out the maternity dresses again. He is a very handsome man, despite what he says. She has earned the nickname Hottie (I think I've already covered them both, but what the's worth repeating.). Little C could be a baby model. I'm so happy that I've gotten to share a little of thier lives, and hope they will continue to let me steal some of thier time every now and then. They always make me feel welcome. They also always make me feel apreciated, which is a rare thing. Without them I would have lost faith in what I believe in most in life, pure and simple Love. Thanks, BM & Family. I love you.


Wierd dream last night. Seems like I'm not sleeping at all anymore. Dreamed that I couldn't fall asleep. Only reason I knew it was a dream was that in it I was over someone elses house and I awoke in mine. So now even in my sleep I can't sleep. DAMN!

Saturday, November 20, 2004

Thanksgiving thoughts part2: My little Sis

I met my Sis in collage. She used me as a human shield to protect her from Inspector Gadget. Over the years she has been, time and time again, the person who I could turn to when the sh*t hit the fan. Just as I have been there for her through all the good and bad stuff in her life. I may not have always had the answers, but I'm always right there. I stood as her husbands best man at thier wedding (funny considering origionally he thought she was cheating on him with me. We've managed to become friends, through her, over the years.). I have helped her move through a million residences. At one point we called each other ever single day at least once. Despite the fact that she repeatedly denies it I consider her my Angel. If it wasn't for her I would have ended my life long ago. She is a wonderful person who has many times come to my rescue. From listening to me ramble when drunk to coming running to my rescue at the drop of a hat. She is beautiful both inside and out (another thing she denies despite both myself and her hubby telling her this for years. But, like the song says, you can't hide beautiful.) and has been my constant companion through this messed up thing I mistakenly call a life. From talking for hours to sitting and holding each other as one of us cries, she has been a source of strength and hope for me. We joke about one day running away from it all and living on an island somewhere (well, maybe it's not totally a joke...). She is one of the few people who I no longer worry about losing. While the day may come when her hubby talks her into moving away from this state (although not if I can help it) she will always be in my heart and my life. I thank her for this. For defeating the 10 year curse. For being my Angel. For being her. Thanks Sis. I love you.

Friday, November 19, 2004



Thursday, November 18, 2004

Thanksgiving thoughts pt1: My Bro

I just want to take a little time to say a few things about some people I know. This will be ongoing, when I have nothing better to write about, type of thing. Kind of a thankful for knowing people type thing in honur of Thanksgiving.These are the people in my life:
First off is my Brother from another mother. While we are not related by blood, in our hearts we are family ( much like me and my little Sis and my daughter, both of who'll I'll discuss later.).
My Bro I met in nursery school. We met outside the class on the first day. We were 4 years old. We held hands going into the class because we were both nervous. Even though he moved away from my school in 1st grade, and I moved out of town in 2nd, we kept in touch. I have know him and his family through the birth of 4 of the 6 kids, the divorce of his parents, and the remarrage of his mom. They have been a second family for me and I have spent some of the best times of my life in thier company. My Bro and I can spend hours just talking about life the universe and everything. We can listen to music ranging from Jethro Tull to Pink Floyd to Rolling Stones to Beatles to Iron Maiden to REM to Johnny Cash. We'll discuss books or comics. We used to go for walks all over Staven. We would sit for hours, him with his pot me with a bottle (nope never did drugs then, give me vodka and I'm happy. Actually I've only smoked twice. Once with my Bro once with my Sis.).
Several years ago he moved out to bOregon. Since then I've only seen him a handful of times, and we only talk when one of us has money (not often.). Yet when we do see or talk it's like no time has passed. We've both moved on in our lives, yet we both fit well into our lives no matter what happens. He is like a reminder to me that friendship can last through anything. I'm not ashamed to say I love him and his whole family. So many times he has been there for me when I needed him, and me for him. We don't judge each other or our lives, we don't expect anything from each other other than friendship. He has been a pillar in my life since before I can remember.
I wanted to say I'm thankful to have him in my life.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

May the Pants be with you!

Star Wars lines improved by substituting the word Pants - Movies and Books Rated 7.98 out of 10 on the funny scale by Funnybox visitors.
1) A tremor in the pants. The last time I felt this was in the presence of my old master.
2) You are unwise to lower your pants.
3) We've got to be able to get some reading on those pants, up or down.
4) She must have hidden the plans in her pants. Send a detachment down to retrieve them. See to it personally Commander.
5) These pants may not look like much, kid, but they've got it where it counts.
6) I find your lack of pants disturbing.
7) These pants contain the ultimate power in the Universe. I suggest we use it.
8) Han will have those pants down. We've got to give him more time!
9) General Veers, prepare your pants for a surface assault.
10) I used to bulls-eye womp-rats in my pants back home.
11) TK-421. . . Why aren't you in your pants?
12) Lock the door. And hope they don't have pants.
13) Governor Tarkin. I recognized your foul pants when I was brought on board.
14) You look strong enough to pull the pants off of a Gundark.
15) Luke. . . Help me take...these pants off.
16) Great, Chewie, great. Always thinking with your pants.
17) That blast came from those pants. That thing's operational!
18) Don't worry. Chewie and I have gotten into a lot pants more heavily guarded than this.
19) Maybe you'd like it back in your pants, your highness.
20) Your pants betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially for your sister!
21) Jabba doesn't have time for smugglers who drop their pants at the first sign of an Imperial Cruiser.
22) Yeah, well short pants is better than no pants at all, Chewie.
23) Attention. This is Lando Calrissean. The Empire has taken control of my pants, I advise everyone to leave before more troops arrive.
24) I cannot teach him. The boy has no pants.
25) You came in those pants? You're braver than I thought.

bro's little bro

I've been trying to get a hold of my bro's little bro and for some reason he's not calling me back. Growing up I can;'t count how many times I stopped his big brothers from killing him, and know he's ignoring me? Damn punk. He screwed up his life for years on drugs, but is supposedly clean now. If I find he's back on the blow I'm going to put him in the hospital.


It's gorgeous out tonight. I think I'm going to go down the beach and watch the waves. I love the beach. It's nice and peaceful (except for that time with the drunk guy). I love going during a storm and watch the lightning on the water. Either that or I'll go to the graveyard, yeah it might be seen as morbid, but growing up it's where my bro and me went to hang out and be alone to just talk. No one bothered you there. Or I can go to another graveyard to visit some old friends who are there. So many choices. Of course I could call around and see if anyone home to go visit, but I think tonights an alone night. Sometimes you just need to be away from people. Hell sometimes I wish I could be away from myself.

Sunday, November 14, 2004


521 people have viewed my profile since I started this thing. Kind of freaky fact. I wonder who they all are? Did they just pass through like I do sometimes, hitting the next blog button at the top of the page? Or have some of you (like you BM you sick little monkey) just gotten in the habit of hitting the view profile button over and over. I feel bad, like maybe I should have more on there or something. Someday maybe I'll learn how to put up a picture, then everyone will get scared away and I won't have anyone else looking. So here's to all the 521 people who have passed this way, hope you've enjoyed the view.

Poem from my past

And we were told
of forever
but we could
never believe
for always
there was
eventually an
ending that
nothing could
prevent and
so we
a myth
about something
that we could
not fathom and
so almost forgot
that sometimes
anything can
become everything
in an infinity
of posibilities
and perhaps despite
our beliefs and
opinions all
realities can
still be
into existance.


Ok, I've got to be serious for a moment. I need to address a stuationwith one specific person. Purplepyramid. My friend Isis. Normaly when I ave an issue with someone in my life I talk to them about it, but since she is apparently not reading my e-mails and I can't call her this is the only other way I know to tell her something. See recently she has decided to do something with her life that I think of as a really bad idea. It is the first time in the 11 years we've know each other that we've had a fight. It's the first time I've ever been mad at her and her way of dealing with someone being mad at her is to imediatly get mad at them and kick them out of her life. But what she doesn't seem to understand is that despite this, I still love her and am still her friend. Let's repeat that I LOVE HER AND AM STILL HER FRIEND.
Let's look at some history. I met her in collage around 1993 or so. We hung with the same group of people. The 2 of us got very close and at one point when she thought she was moving out of state she asked me for a kiss. I gave her 2 (it's become a tradition now). We dated for 3 years, living together and having the time of our lives. Unfortunatly in the end she grew unhappy with me. She's stated a million reasons over the years for that, but what I rememeber was her getting so depresed that she wouldn't get out of bed. So the dating thing left, yet there was still a friendship there. As the years past we stayed friends, and damn good ones. We were the ones each of us turned to when things got out of control. We celebrated the good, and cried to each other about the bad. Sometimes when no one was looking we still snuck in 2 kisses even. She went on to get married, and I went through a series of loves, but we still were there for each other. At the end of her marrage she moved to Old Folks State to get away from her ex. We talked off and on, when we could afford it. When she moved back last year I was so happy and we spent a lot of time togetehr, just like old days. Now she's made another change, and because she knows I think it's a horrible idea shes gotten really defensive and seems to be looking for reasons to kick me out of her life. I keep trying to tell her that I'm still here, I sill love her and I still want her in my life, but she seems to be ignoring this and instead has focused on several past blogs that HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH HER! For some reason she refuses to get this through her head.
NowI believe that some sins should not be forgiven, and some pains should not be forgotten and yet she's doing both to get herself in the situation she's choosing for her life. But no matter what she does with her life she's still my little Sharebear. I will always be her Buttons (or blue eyes, depending on her mood). We've made a lifetime out of having fun and being there for each other and I don't want that to change.
Sweetie it was more than just laughter, it was more than sex, it was more than reading books, more than listening to music or watching movies or going out or all the memories. It was knowing, deep in your heart, that no matter what happened you'd always have someone there who respected you, who knew you inside and out (literally) and would always have a hug waiting. It was having someone in your life that you knew would always love you, o matter what. Through good times and bad. Always. I still Love you darling and I always will. Now try and get that through your head ok?
Now then, maybe we should clean off that headboard before you move it....

Friday, November 12, 2004

Giving up

I'm giving up on people. Not everyone, just those people in my life who have done thier best to show me that they don't care about my friendship. There are several people who I have been friends with for years who now a days don't seem to want to know me anymore. Despite attempts to keep in touch and see them they don't respond. I'm sick of being the one to always have to reach out to people. Some of these people were good friends of mine, some even more than friends. But now it's like I have to try and contact them again and again for months, then maybe I get a quick call or something. So I'm saving my money and not even going to waste a stamp on them. I hate losing people, but friendship, like any relationship, is a 2 way street. I'm sick of walking it alone. If they want me they know my number. I'd be glad to see them again, but they'll have to be the one's to call. If not, then I wish them the best. I'll miss myfirends,but I've been missing them for a while now and they don't appear to miss me. So much for being told they'd always care eh?


Well, the holidays are approching fast and as usual it looks like I'm going to be short on cash. It suxs year after year not being able to get the stuff I want to get people. I should start buying stuff for people months in advace, but it never seems to happen. So instead here I am trying to make as list of who I need to buy for and who I should just send a card to. Then there's the matter of getting addresses for people so I can send them cards. I come up with some good gift ideas, but there expensive. Sometimes I hate this time of year. It's why I've always been a fan of buying people things whenever I feel like, with or without a reason. Because when it comes time to have a gift I can't always promise I'll have money. I also....
Ok... wait... A small tangent here... I still Hate these damn cap locks!!! I hate being in the middle of typing and realizing half-way down the page that at some point my big fat fingers hit that damn cap locks and I've typed half the page in capitols. Then I've got to delete it and try and rmemeber what the hell I've said so I can retype it. I HATE that! Why the hell aren't they put somewhere out of the way? Someone needs to seriously redesign keyboards.
Ok, sorry for that. Anyways, as I was saying, I wish they would make it so you got your tax return before the holidays. At least then I could buy stuff for people whithout getting way behind on my bills. Every year it's the same damn thing, put off a few bills so I can afford gifts, then hope nothing gets sent to collection agencys before I get my tax return so I can pay them off. I hate playing catch up. But what else can I do? Oh well. Here's hoping everyoen else is looking forward to the holidays. Smile.

Thursday, November 11, 2004

Hottie's B-day

So today is the Birthday of the Hottie-Pattotie, wife of that lyrical master BM. She's an amazing young lady who's has managed to get just about everything out of life that she wanted when she was little. She has a great home, a beautiful boy and the ever handsome BM to sleep with at night. She's one of the most beautiful, intelligent, and multi talented women I have ever met. She has a great sense of humor and loves both Halloween and the '80's. At 5'5" or so (she's as tiny as BM) with hair that's always getting dyed one color or another and a slight taste for gothic style clothes, she has almost as much energy as her hubby (who is one of the most hyperactive people I know. At thier wedding he started doing standing jumps on the dance floor and WAS CLEARING HER HEAD!). She has a smile that lights up a room and a body that'll stop traffic. She loves to read and watch horror movies. Her and BM are one of the cutest couples I've ever seen and it takes about 30 seconds of watching them to see how much they love each other (The K&B Toystore belong in a kodak comercial, Along with thier little C. BM likes to say he's average looking or below, but every time I show a girl a photo of him they ask if he's single. And yes BM they all love your crooked smile.). Not to mention what a great mom she's become as well.
Sometimes when life gets bad and all is dark, it's nice to be able to go and see a family that actually proves that it can all work out. So maybe there is hope for me after all.
Happy Birthday K. I love you my friend.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004


I have 2 1/2 days off. I don't know what to do with myself. Going to see Babushka tom, also going to movies with her and Gundumschlong and Spasm and thier lady friends. I have to start x-mas shopping. I need to get some film developed. I need to buy some socks. I need sleep. Hmmm... maybe I will have some stuff to occupy my time after all. Now I have plans with the BM for Tues night. He just told me his Hottie's B-Day is Friday! I thought it wasn't till Dec. God I'm getting horrible at remembering stuff. They say age is all in the mind, and the mind is the first thing to go.

Sunday, November 07, 2004


I may have been wrong. 11 years may be over. If so it did end in silence. With a return to abuse. A return to what was mostly 5 years of misery. A return to the city of broken dreams. I will miss her. She was a good friend and more than even that. She was a confidant and a smile waiting. Maybe someday.
As Vimes would say: "We lost a good one there. It may not be our fault, yet I still wonder if we could have done more to prevent it."
Think of me, if you will, in Jingo. Finish with the voices in your head. Many, yet one. the adventures may be over for now, but the past will never be far behind. Should Orange ever be on, think of me. In the songs of Johnny's Garden. In the yells of science. In the headboard now cleaned. Everytime you feel alone or scared, I will be there in your heart and in your Panther.

Friday, November 05, 2004

Where is Home?

been trying to talk my Bro (and his bro and commonlaw wife) into moving back this way. I'll try every sneaky trick in the book. I remind him all the time that all his family and good friends are here (he always complains he has no real friends out there). I take him out for good italian food (bOregon's idea of a good pizza is Pizza Hut). I make fun of bOregon (I tell him your not allowed to move there. It's a penal colony. If you commit a crime you can be sentenced to 5 years living in bOregon.). i'm doing everything I can. They complain there low on money, well you can be low on money here too. I know why he moved out there, but the situation has changed in the last 9 years since he left. It's time for him to come Home. They may live in bOregon, but thier heart and home is here.

Thursday, November 04, 2004

Lyrics from Sir Elton John

You may not believe it
But I don't believe in miracles anymore
And when I think about it
I don't believe I ever did for sure
All the things I've said in songs
All the purple prose you bought from me
Reality's just black and white
The sentimental things I'd write
Never meant that much to me

I used to be the main express
All steam and whistles heading west
Picking up my pain from door to door
Riding on the storyline
Furnace burning overtime
But this train don't stop,This train don't stop,This train don't stop there anymore

You don't need to hear it
But I'm dried up and sick to death of love
If you need to know it
I never really understood that stuff
All the stars and bleeding hearts
All the tears that welled up in my eyes
Never meant a thing to me
Read 'em as they say and weep
I've never felt enough to cry

When I said that I don't care
It really means my engine's breaking down
The chisel chips my heart again
The granite cracks beneath my skin
I crumble into pieces on the ground

Lyrics: Queen 'the Show Must Go On'

Empty spaces - what are we living for
Abandoned places - I guess we know the score
On and on, does anybody know what we are looking for...
Another hero, another mindless crime
Behind the curtain, in the pantomime
Hold the line, does anybody want to take it anymore

The show must go on,
The show must go on
Inside my heart is breaking
My make-up may be flaking
But my smile still stays on.

Whatever happens, I'll leave it all to chance
Another heartache, another failed romance
On and on, does anybody know what we are living for?
I guess I'm learning, I must be warmer now
I'll soon be turning, round the corner now
Outside the dawn is breaking
But inside in the dark I'm aching to be free

The show must go on
The show must go on
Inside my heart is breaking
My make-up may be flaking
But my smile still stays on

My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies
Fairytales of yesterday will grow but never die
I can fly - my friends

The show must go on
The show must go on
I'll face it with a grin
I'm never giving in
On - with the show -

I'll top the bill,
I'll overkill
I have to find the will to carry on
On with the - On with the show -
The show must go on...

Good from bad

My Bro is home from bOregon. His Grandfather died which sucks (I've know the family since I was 4, he was a good man and I will miss him), but it'll be nice to see my Bro. He's here with his lady and his brother who live with him in bOregon, and it's been quite awhile since I last got to see them. I'm going to the funeral and although it's for a bad reason it'll be nice to see my extended family. I've needed this.