Wednesday, June 29, 2005


Well, in what was a big suprise to me, my friend Heaven has started to keep in touch with me over e-mail again. It's been about 1 1/2 years since I last talked with her. From what I heard her hubby had asked her not to talk to me anymore because he knew we had been intimate, even if he had no proof. I saw her maybe twice after she got pregnant, and once after the baby was born. I've tried to e-mail her before with no reply, so I don't know what brought this about. From my source she has spent so much time with her family she's kind of lost all her friends, maybe she just misses having someone to talk to outside of her hubby? We have been friends for about 12 years now, including the time I didn't hear from her. I do miss her and it's nice to see her e-mail address again, it's just kind of wierd. Why now? Whats changed? Or should I just be glad to be in contact with my friend again and stop over analizing this?

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Farewell Monkey Girl

One of my workmates is leaving us to go play with Monkeys in Costa Rica. She is a great person and about the only decent one I had at my work. She wants to be a primateologist (or something like that) and so has to go to see monkeys in the wild. She' going to have to do such fun stuff as deal with 100+degree heat and humidity, dig her own holes to use as a toilet, and dodge flung monkey poo. I'm not exactly envious of her trip, needless to say. But I will miss her and hope she has fun. So for now, farewell Monkey Girl, may the monkeys treat you well.

Friday, June 24, 2005

Intravert To Extravert in 2.5 seconds (my memories and stuff)

So there I was in the back seat of J$'s car. It was him, my Bro and me just driving around the backroads in East Haven. We were all around 18 years old at the time. I don't remember if we had a destination in mind or not. But our day was to be changed forever due to not paying attention to what was going on. We had come up to a stop sign and J$ did what is commanly called a rolling stop. We all know what I'm talking about, where you don't come a complete halt. But as J$ went to go for it, there suddenly was a car in front of us. She had been coming from the cross direction and it seemed like she just materialized out of nowhere. J$ hit the brakes as hard as he could and we all jerked forward to the sound of screaming tires. Of course we came nowhere near her, you could have walked 5 abreast between the 2 cars. But that lady got out of her car and started bitching at J$ like there was no tom. Now J$ was a bit of a high strung lad, a tad on the nervous side if you know what I mean. He appologized to that lady for at least 5 min while she complained that he need to pay attention to what was going on around him while he drove. When she finaly got in her car and left J$ couldn't even drive he was shaking so bad. We sat there for a bit and then suddenly I went and asked the question that had been bothering me since we first saw her:

"Hey J$, this is a 4 way stop, why didn't she stop at her sign? She blew through it even faster than you did. You had the right of way after all."

Oh My God, J$ looked over at the sign and realized I was right, and he lost it. For the next 20 min of my life we went driving around those roads slowly looking for her car with his head out the window yelling at the top of his lungs "Where are you you bitch?" That boys face was red, veins were popping out of his neck, and you'd never believe that just a little while before he had been having a breakdown of a totally differant sort. To this day all I have to do is mention the whole incedent and he starts getting worked up about it. Sometimes I wonder if maybe I should have kept my mouth shut?

Wednesday, June 22, 2005


I'm getting so damn annoyed at work. The idiots I work with make it feel like I'm babysitting. Everything they touch they break, or they hide stuff so you can't find it, or they color things in with permanent marker, or they tape stuff up. These people are in thier 20's and act like they're about 5. One of these days I'm gonna just start freaking out and beat the holy shit out of them! I so can't wait to get a new job.

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Happy Pappy Day

Just wanted to wish all the fathers out there a great "Your Sperm Works' Day. Especially to BM, who's an incredible father. It's always great watching him do the papa thing with Little C. Then there is the Great and Powerful UG. While I never really got the privalage to see him with his kids I'm sure there's no one else who can corupt a childs mind quite like him. Also a special one to Gigantor who I'm sure misses his wife as much as she misses him. It's kind of funny, I know lots of people but most of my close fiends are women, so I only know a few pops who I can say Happy Dads Day to. But to those I do know- HAPPY FATHERS DAY!

Friday, June 17, 2005

Tagged by SunGrooveTheory


1. The total number of DVDs, videos, and films I own: All told about 200 or so between DVD and VHS.
2.The last film I bought: What Lies Beneath
3.The last film I watched: Skinned Deep
4. My favourite five films of all time, ever: Princess Bride, Star Wars: A New Hope, Jaws, Snatch, Shawn Of The Dead.
5. Tag three people and have them blog this. The Creeping Unknown, Gama, BM

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Mr. Sandman (Memories and stuff)

WARNING: The following post contains sexual material. If you are under 18 or are easily offended then please skip this post.

I spent 3 years of my life dating Isis. We are still friends to this day, almost 9 years later. To this day I can still make her crack up by bringing this story up.
We had a very energy filled sex life. Since she had her own house and Ant spent the days in school we had a lot of fun together. Alot of it was very intense, and because of this Isis thought that while I had a great sense of humor, I took lovemaking very seriously. Was she wrong about that.
We had spent the morning teasing each other and getting ourselves all rieled up. Once we were alone we ran to the bedroom and got underway. After a short period of foreplay (Normally we took our time but we had been flirting too much earlier and wanted to get down to business) I got out the condom. (Yes, I am a believer in condoms. They may be uncomfortable and annoying, but I DON'T want kids so they were a necessity for me. I am less concerned about disease, ever girl I've ever made love to has been a friend of mine first so by the time we get to this point I trust them enough to believe they would tell me if there was any chance. There has only been one girlfriend who I didn't use them with.)
Well, the condom (that she had picked up from planned parenthood, instead of us buying them like we normally did) was too small. It broke as I was putting it on. A little annoyed I went to pull it off. Now there is a reason these are called rubbers, and due to that reason instead of it pulling off as I had intended it streached. In fact with the base of it firmly on me the broken end I was pulling on streached up as far as my arm extended.
Isis was shocked, her face blushed a bright red (Not an easy feat when you consider she's Jamacian.) and she was sure I was going to get mad or embaressed. Instead I looked at her and then began strumming the streached condom as if it were a guitar string and began singing Mr. Sandman:
"Doom Doom Doom
Doom Doom Doom
Doom Doom Doom Doom Doom
Mr. Sandman
Bring me a dream"
Needless to say, Isis just managed to make it to the bathroom toilet before pissing herself in histerics. Yes the moment of lovemaking was shot, but we didn't stop laughing for hours. To this day she can't keep a stright face when it comes on the radio. No one else knows why she laughs at it (especially not her hubby). I used to have great fun starting to sing it at random when we were out places or with her family, just to make her blush.
I've always said, if you can't laugh at yourself you shouldn't laugh at anyone else.

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Banned from Musical Buffets (memories and stuff)

Twice in my life now I've had a girlfreind of mine refuse to ever go to a chinese buffet with me again, through no fault of my own. Let me explain and judge for yourself.

The first one was when I was dating my Isis. We lived in Middletown and one of our favorite places to go eat was a chinese buffet. Well, we were heading into it one day and had been having a bit of a contest to see who could come up with the most obscure TV jingle from either an old cartoon or TV show. We had been going back and forth since the afternoon, and just as we were walking in I got another one. Without any thought of where we were I began to sing :
"Hong Kong Fooey
Number one super guy
Hong Kong Fooey
Quicker than the human eye"
Everyone in the restaurant turned and looked at us by the door. Isis freaked, grabed my hand and forced me to leave. She never let me take her back there.

The second was when I was dating Rie. We had just finished eating at our favorite chinese buffet and were just paying. As I watched, one of the waiters came out of the back room carrying a tray of Generals chicken. Due to the shape of the buffet I was the only one who could see him. He tripped over the rug and the tray of chicken went flying. Without missing a moment the waiter droped in a split, waved his hands back and forth quickly, and caught the tray without spilling anything. I was amazed. I looked at him, he looked back at me, and without thinking about it I burst forth:
"Everybody was Kung foo fighting
Those cats wre fast as lightning!"
Well, he started laughing, but since I was the only one who could see him everyone else in the place turned and gave me a dirty look. even the other waiters and the guy who was ringing us up looked pissed. Before I could explain Rie grabbed me and once again I was never allowed back to that Buffet.

So I ask you, why did I get blamed?

Friday, June 10, 2005

Quick note

Just wanted to say that my Random 10 list is being moved over to my other blog (which is also a group blog) at just for the hell of it. Go if your interested, stay if your not. Just figured I'd move it there because I felt like it.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Meeting a Giant (memories and stuff)

The year was 1985 and I was 12 years old. After watching WWF wrestling on TV for over a year my Dad got us tickets to see them live at the New Haven Colliseum. I was thrilled. We went early because driving in New Haven is an annoying experiance at best. The first match of the evening was Chief Jay Strongbow vs. George the Animal Steele. I don't think I sat down once during it all. I also got to see some of my other favorite wrestlers, from Superfly Jimmy Snuka to Tito Santana to Mr. Wonderful Paul Orndorff. After about the 5th match of the night we decided to go get some drinks during a tag team match (I just wasn't into the tag teams as much at the time). So we went out and thankfully there was no one there. My Dad gave me money for drinks and a hot dog and let me go to the stand myelf (With him about 6 feet away watching, this was New Haven after all). As I stood there waiting for one of the lazy coinsession people to notice me I saw something that took my breath away.
He came out from a back door off to the side. There was no mistaking him, not at 7'4" and 500lbs. He was born Andre Rene Roussimoff, but was known better as the 8th Wonder of the World Andre the Giant. He was my favorite wrestler and I didn't even know he was supposed to be on the show that night. He walked up behind me and the people behind the counter saw him right away. They asked him what he needed and he said that the young man in front of him had been there first. I order 2 drinks and then asked him what he wanted, what ever it was it was on me. He smiled and said just a large soda. I told him I was a big fan of his and he laughed and said that I was actually a little fan but that was alright too. He tousled me hair and shook my hand (I only shook his finger) and thanked me for the drink. I wished him good luck in his match and he said he'd win this one for me. He was huge, all you could do was look up at him, then up some more. I always thought my Dad was tall at 6 feet, but he looked totally tiny in comparison. That night Andre fought against the Iron Shiek and Nikoli Volkoff in a handi-cap match. He ended up pinning them both at the same time. I was screaming so loud I couldn't talk much for the next 2 days. It was one of my favorite moments.
I watched him for years, even after I learned that wrestling was fake (More on that another time). I loved him in his TV appearance (Such as Bigfoot on the Six Million Dollar Man) and as Fezzig in Princess Bride (Perhaps my favorite movie of all time). I cheered him even when he was a bad guy against Hulk Hogan at Wrestlemania 3.
I can't explain how sad I was on January 27, 1993 when Andre finally succombed to the disease that had caused his size. It was clinacally called Acromegaly but more popularily called Giantism. He heart gave out in a hotel room while he was sleeping.
I'm 32 and stand 6'4" now, but I have a feeling that where ever he may be he knows that I'm still a big 'little' fan of his.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Toby Keith "Good As I Once Was"

She said "I've seen you in here before"
I said "I've been here at time or two"
She said "Hello my name is Bobby Jo
meet my twin sister Better Lou
and we're both feeling kinda wild tonight
and you're the only cowboy in this place
and if you're up for a rodeo
we'll put a big Texas smile on your face"

I said "Girls
I ain't as good as I once was
I got a few years on me now
but there was a time
back in my prime
when I could really lay it down
so if you need some love tonight
then I might have just enough
I ain't as good as I once was
but I'm as good once as I ever was"

I still hang out with my best friend Dave
I've known him since we were kids at school
last night he had a shot
got in a tight spot
hustlin' a game of pool
with a couple of readneck boys
one great big bad biker man
I heard David yell across the room
"hey buddy how 'bout a helping hand"

I said"Dave
I ain't as good as I once was
my how the years have flown
but there was a time back in my prime
when I could really hold my own
but if you wanna fight tonight
guess thouse boys dont look all that tough
I ain't as good as I once was
but I'm as good once
as I ever was"

I used to be hell on wheels
back when I was younger man
now my body says "you cant do this boy"
but my pride says "oh yes you can"

I aint as good as I once was
that's just the cold hard truth
I still throw a few back
talk a little smack
when I'm feelin bullet proof
so don't double dog dare me now
'cause I'd have to call your bluff
I ain't as good as I once was
but I'm as good once as I ever was

may not be good as I once was
but I'm as good once
as I ever was

Tuesday, June 07, 2005


I hate being hot. I hate sweating (except if I earned it.) So I wasn't in the best of moods when I got to work to find that my idiot collegues broke our AC. The store was about 80 degrees and I had sweat dripping down my back. It sucked. I spent the day being cranky and aggitated. Blew up at my co-workers twice (they deserved it because they act like little kids most of the time, but usually I just ignore their stupidity). Bitched out our company maintinace department and also my district manager, who's coming tomarrow to try and get eveything fixed. Now I am so looking forward to just going up to my air cinditioned room and lying there, even if I can't sleep. I feel sticky, and I hate it. Wish I could go somewhere where it was about 70-75 degrees everday. I can deal with cold but don't like snow, and (as already mentioned) I hate heat. UG.

I did get to see my Roe-Roe yesterday, which was nice. She's going in for surgery on the 20th, I wish her well. I'm also seeing Babushka tom night and BM&Family on Thursday. I so need a bad horror movie night. we need to find something with lots of blood, boobies, and gore. Now off to cool.....

Saturday, June 04, 2005

Electric Mouse in my Pocket (memories and stuff)

Ok, quick explination of names since this story involves some people who I've never mentioned before and they might be in some of my other stories later on:

Jiggly: A incredibly beautiful, sweet, and sexy young lady. I've worked with her at 2 differant jobs and we still drop by to say hiat each others job now and then.
Scumman: My ex boss who was just simply a scumbag. Not bad as a friend unless he could get something by stabbing you in the back.
BaldGod: A sarcastic egotistical bundle of fun. Great to hang with, and ticklish too.
KingNerd: Ok, take a white man afro, add thick a** glasses, cardigan sweaters with Doctor Who patterns, an intense love for Power Rangers and Pokeman, a high pitched voice, and the biggest schnoze I've ever seen. Not a bad guy, but any nerd he pased got on thier knees and bowed to him.
BlondeHo: A slut with no morals. She used her body to try and make people not realize what a bitch she was.

Ok. So this group, along with Midget and myself, were all hanging at Scummans house. We did this often back then. We were all watching TV and one of those pokeman commercials came on. Of course it featured prominantly that yellow rat thing. Jiggly and BaldGod were on the couch opposite the tv, I was kitty corner to it in a chair, Scumman was in another chair next to the couch, BlondeHo was sittin in the loveseat, Midget was standing with KingNerd just off to the back of Scummans chair.
So Jiggly says "I don't understand that stuff. What is that yellow thing supposed to be?"

Well King Nerd steps over so that he's in front of her, crotch at eye level. He goes "It's an electric mouse called pikachu. I've got one in my pocket, wanna see?"
Now Midget and I both know that he keeps a little plastic pokeman on his keychain, but apparently no one else did. Time froze as everyone else in the room got the wrong impression. As KingNerd proceeded to reach into his pocket, inadvertantly almost pushing the front of his pants into her face, Jiggly got a look of horror on her face. Scumman launches himself off his chair screaming NO, long and drawn out. BaldGod covers his eyes saying "Oh God' and BlondeHo almost climbs over the edge of the loveseat to get away. Now, Scumman's leap falls short as he hits the floor almost face first, as KingNerd whips his keys out and shoves this plastic keychain to Jiggly.
Midget and I are laughing our a**es off as everyone calms down. To this day when I see her I can still make Jiggly shudder by simply asking if she has an electric mouse in her pocket.

So yeah, this one was shorter than I figured, but sometimes life's like that. The funniest sh*t happens so fast.

Friday, June 03, 2005

Friday's random 10

Here we go again after a week break, with the random songs of Friday:

1. Family Man- Hall&Oates
2. Baker St.- Undercover
3. I Don't Think So- Dinosaur Jr.
4. Life On Mars- David Bowie
5. Small Victory- Faith No More
6. Tales Of Brave Ulysses- Cream
7. Nobody Left To Run With- Allman Brothers Band
8. Godzilla- Blue Oyster Cult
9. A Boy Named Sue- Johnny Cash
10. Vertgio- U2

and as always my extra 2:
1. Off With Thier Heads- Offspring
2. Casey Jones- Grateful Dead

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Tarfoot (memories+stuff)

Back when I used to spend a lot of time hanging at my Bro's house we used to go for walks. One of our favorite strolls was to follow the disfunct Trolley Tracks. They lead from East Haven to Brandford,a nd it was a nice walk through the woods. On this particular day it was my Bro, his Lady, his brother(Scruff) and our friend the Poet. Now my Bro's lady, Pyaty, decided it was so nice out we should all go barefoot on this walk. Well, my Bro decided not to but hte rest of us were game, so off we headed without foot wear (except, Pyaty brought hers along strung around her neck.). We walked down to the tracks and followed them for about 2 miles. It was at this point we noticed something wrong, our feet really hurt! Sitting down at a stopway we discovered a fact that hadn't occured to us before. The tracks had been being repaired for use again and as part of the repairs they had laid down Tar on them. So there were our feet with a lovely layer of tar on the bottom. It was sticky, and it burned slightly. I'm still not sure how we hadn't noticed the burning sensation before, maybe it was a case of them being stoned and me being a little tipsey, but at this poibnt we were all quite straight and in pain. Bro was fine, and Pyaty put her shoes on, but that left Poet, Scruff and myself to walk 2 miles back to the house with tar covered feet over tar covered tracks. After about 1/2 a mile back Scruff was in so much pain he could hardly walk, his feet had started to bleed. Being who I am I picked him up on my back and piggybacked him the rest of the way. By the time we got back Poet was in tears, and I was leving bloody footprints behind me. Pyaty felt horrible for suggesting it, and Bro was laughing his a** off. To be honest it was because I was laughing too. Yeah it hurt, but I couldn't stop talking in a fake high voice about how all we needed was some feathers and we could reenact the middle ages torture stuff. It took almost 3 hours of scubbing with soap and the hose to get the crap off our feet, and by the time we were done everyone was in stiches about how damn dumb could we be. Pyaty had to throw out her shoes, it was like there was glue in them. And when Scruff then suggested we go for a walk on the trolleys, we all took turns soaking him with the hose. We did walk down those tracks many more times before my Bro, Pyaty and Scruff left for bOregon, and ever time one of us would joke about taking our shoes off. Now whenever I go by those tracks I still feel a twing in my feet, but I also start to laugh about the idea of being young and dumb.

Ironically enough, last time they were back we did end up going for a walk on the tracks, but even with much promting none of us were willing to go barefoot.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Me, Myself, and My memories

One of my e-mail friends who read this blog recently asked me why I don't tell more about myself on it. Personally I always thought I told too much about myelf here and was probably boring the holy hell out of everyone, but I've decided ot take his words to heart and spend some time here telling stories from my past. It will be kind of an ongoing type thing, something I'll do when I haven't anything better to write about. Some of these will be funny stories, some sweet ones, a few horror ones, and some sexual/perverted ones (we're mostly adults here, and I will start any explicit ones with an 18 or over warning. After that it's up to you if you want to read them). I do this more for my amusement than anything else, after all it is my blog. I will not tell any about my bedroom life with my currant lady, Babushka. This is mostly out of respect, and partly because I don't want to inadvertantly piss her off and have her freeze me out of the bedroom. She has a good sense of humor but why take the chance? But everything else is fair game, although if there is a story about you (any of my friends/family who read this) and you don't want it on tell me and I'll remove it.
But before I start maybe we should take a quick look at who I am. Here goes some random things about me:
I'm 32 years old, born the day after Leprechan day 1973.
I stand 6'4" amd weigh in at 320lbs, which is the most I've ever weighed in my life (not a good thing). At one point it was more muscle than fat, but lack of exercise and damaged body parts have changed that (yeah, and some laziness too).
I have short (Unfortunatly) light brown hair, a beard and mustache, and Blue eyes that all my girlfriends have agreed are my best feature.
I smile alot and have a very good sense of humor, even if a little on the bizarre side.
I am very loyal to those I care about.
I'm mostly easy to get along with and am very patient. It takes a lot to get me angry, with the exception of men hitting women (a fact that has lead to some run-ins with the police).
I love to read (although I am particular about who I read).
I collect comics (since 1985), nick-nacks, and non-sport cards.
I love taking photos.
I am a boob man, no size too big.
I've been told I give really good hugs.
I'm often the one people turn to why they need a sholder to cry on. Or to help them move. Or for money.
I don't take my life too serious.
I watch wrestling, not something I'm proud of but I'm being honest.
I don't like to lie and try not to do it if I can help it, nor do I play games with people. If there's a game in play, I'll just walk away.
I hate dogs, I won't be mean to them-I just don't like them. I don't believe in cruilty to animals or to people for that matter.
I grew up playing Dungeons&Dragons, writing stories and drawing.
I hate working, but do so anyways.
I am sentimental and also very stubborn.
I don't like confrontations, but have never backdown from one.
I don't sleep good, insomnia is an old friend of mine. I'll get into this more at some point.
I have 3 scars I know about, have only broken 2 bones, have half a tooth broken(back molar), and have a crack in my skull (please keep the jokes to a minimum).
Lost my virginity at 21, although I had done things other than intercourse earlier.
I've had 4 baby scares in my life, which is funny becasue I've never wanted kids, although if it had happened I wouldn't have run from it either.
I love giving gifts.
I had dual citizenship (Canadian and American) till I was 18, then I choose to be just American. While I am proud of my Canadian heratige, I love where I live and wouldn't leave despite not always agreeing with the government.
I have 2 natural sisters ( a great one and an evil one). I also have 2 other people I call family even though we're not blood related, my Little Sis and my Bro.

Well thats enough for now. Maybe tom. I'll start with some of my stories. I need sleep now, I hate working mornings.