Monday, December 31, 2007

10 Resolutions at the years end....

I resolve to try and acomplish the following personal improvments in the coming year:

1. To finally learn to care enough about myself to start taking better care of me. Lose some wieght and get more exercise before I have that heart attack the doctor keeps warning me about.
2. Let go of the ghost of the past that seem to haunt me when I'm alone in the night. I need to realize that the things I blame myself for were often not my fault and those who are gone would be sad to know that I still carry the blame and guilt for things that were out of my control.
3. To find it within myself to actually SAVE money. I have a wedding and an apartment to save up for, yet I seem to keep finding ways to spend all my extra money. I have lived off of half of what I'm making now and there's no reason to increase my expendatures to match my income. It needs to be about the priorities.
4. To continue to do everything in my power to keep my Babushka the happiest woman in the world, she deserves every smile I can bring to her.
5. Rekindle some of the friendships that I seem to have let slip over the last few years. These are good people who have shared so much of my life, yet I have allowed time and distance to grow between us. I can find the time to visit and still maintane my sleep and work schedual. I miss thier hugs and smiles. Freindship only works if both people want it to and make the effort to keep it alive.
6. Learn to forgive more. Not to forget, because some of the people who have hurt me have proven that they are not worth trusting, but I need to let go of the anger, resentment, and hatred that I carry with me because of them. Bottling negative emotions is just a bad thing all around. I need to let go of them.
7. Stop being in such a rush. It's one thing to not want to be late for things, but that doesn't mean I have to be an hour or even a half hour early for everything. On time is fine, or even fifteen minutes maybe, but to spend over an hour sitting around because I was afraid of being ten minutes late is just obsessive.
8. Descover the fact that I don't have to buy things or pay for everything in order to make people like me. Chivlery is fine, but bouncing my bills because I HAD to pay for dinner for everyone is rediculous. I'll pay if I can, but if someone wants to do something it's alright to let them pay for themselves, if they couldn't then they wouldn't have suggested doing the thing in the first place.
9. Take the fraking CAP LOCK BUTTON off of my computer. I never use it, and I hate typing half a page of stuff only to realize I hit it by accident and have to redo the whole thing!
10. Spend more time seeing both my family and Babushka's. I normally hate family gatherings, either mine or hers, but in the end it is my/her family and there's nothing wrong with spending time with them. It gets to the point where I don't see some folks for ages till I get absolutly stuck at a major holiday. I love these folks, I need to stop seeing the gatherings as a forced visit and reacting like a rebelous teenager refusing to do what others want him to.

So there are my attempts at fixing things about myself that I don't like. the first step is addmiting to a problem, now for part 2......

Monday, December 24, 2007

A Holiday Message....


Friday, December 21, 2007

Holiday miracle

So I was talking to a co-worker about what was going on in my life. Telling him how I had left home and was living on the run and might have to get my own place, although it would mean the wedding getting pushed back for a while. So he made a rather blunt statement and put it all in a much differant perspective than any I had thought of when he said :
"So in other words you hate your sister more than you want to marry your fiance".
So as of Christmas Eve I'll be moving home. Hopefully I can do my best to avoid the bitch sis and she'll be gone before either of us kills the other. Keep your fingers crossed and I'll keep eveyone posted on how things are going.
Have a great holiday season, no matter which one you celebrate.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

It's the holiday season...

Such fun.
The homelessness is going to continue for the foreseeable future, possibly into mid-Jan. I also have nowhere to go for the holidays, Babushkas Grandma is going to be staying at the house and so I can't sleep there. I may be able to stay with one of my Aunts, but it's might be my car for X-mas since everyone will be having company for the day and it'll be impossible for me to get any sleep for work that night. So I might just park the car at a garage in the city and sleep in the back. Ho ho ho.
Anyways, I hope everyone's doing good and has a great holiday. I'll try to post again before X-mas but I'm not sure if I'll get a chance.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

What a way to live

So I'm staying at Babushka's for now. My back is killing me (sleeping on an air matress sucks!) and my ride to work has tripled in time (and gas consumption) but I'm also getting to spend lots of time with my angel, of course most of it is time that I should be asleep. Hopefully this will only last another week or so.
Other than that things are good. Hope everyone is doing good and I'll post again when I can.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

So much for the holidays...

So my folks told me today that they might be letting my eldest half-breed sister move in soon. In which case I will be moving out on short notice. I've spent the last few hours searching for a new place to live, because I refuse to live with that alchoholic bitch. This may mean I might be off Blog for a while as I'm searching and moving. I hope everyoen has a great holiday season, cause mine is now screwed. I'll try and keep posting from work with updates.