Me and other me

So I was driving home from work (which is going very well, thank you) and I realized that I was talking to myself. Like, not just talking out loud but actually carrying on a full conversation where I was both sides.

Me: Another day gone by.
Me: Yep, but you still have a full day ahead of you.
Me: Huh? What do I have to do today?
Me: Well, your supposed to be taking Mrs. Mac to the doctors, then it's off to see Babushka.
Me: Oh yeah, I forgot. What time is the Doc?
Me: Well, shes got to be there at 3:45, so you should be at her house by 3:15 at the latest.

Now I always remember in school them saying that people talking to themselves was a sign of insanity. So I tell myself to stop it. But instead of stopping I start talking to myself about whether or not I'm losing it.

Me: Isn't talking to yourself a sign of madness?
Me: Used to be.
Me: So does that mean I'm gone off the deep end?
Me: No, at least I don't think so.
Me: Then why the heck am I doing it?
Me: Well, probably just because your tired and need sleep.
Me: So it's ok then?
Me: For now, but don't make a habit of it.


So I'm putting it down to being overtired. Feels wierd when you catch yourself doing things like that. Wouldn't suprise me in the least if I'm going bannanas. But for now I'll accept the whole tired thing. Think it's time for bed. Ok?
Yeah, that sounds good. But don't forget to set the alarm.
What time do you think?
Well if you have to be up for....

Damn.

DAMMIT!

So Blogger gave me no choice about switching. They wouldn't let me in to the blog anymore unless I changed it to thier new version. But what gets me most is they forced me to combine all of my blogs!
Yea, I had 2 sets of blogs going.
Blind Idiot God, Into the Mythos, and Round Table were my regular blogs, under the Azathoth name.
I also had 2 other blogs, Arkham Asylum and Between the Comic Book Covers that are just about comic books and they were done under my Inmate666 name.
But now thanks to blogger I've been forced to put them all together. And of course when they combined them they decided that the main name to use would be the Inmate666 one, which has only been around for a few months, instead of the Azathoth100 which has been going for over 2 years now! So I lost my profile and had to redo the whole thing!
Ok, so it's not the end of the world, but I just don't like being annoyed like this. Also it's late and I'm tired so I'm being a bit more irratble than normal. I have to try and get my sleep schedual on track for starting night shift tommorow night.
Hope everyone's ok and I'll post/comment as soon as I can.
Peace.

In the Dark of the Night......

I should be sleeping.
It's 2am and I need be up at 5 for work. But Sleep and I are fighting right now so instead I'll post whatever wierd thoughts may be in my head at 2am on a dark and windy night.

Peace and farewell to the Lone Rangers who has decided to curtail his blogging. His was a fun blog to read, where honesty and laughter abounded. He'll be missed and I can but hope that perhaps at some point he may reconsider, even if just becoming a part-time blogger. Yet I hope to start a bi-monthly horror movie night soon, so mayhaps I havne't heard the last from him.

They are switching me to night shift as of next week. Aparently I'm off the part-time thing, I'm at 39 hours this week and 40 next. I have to go in at 9:30 Sunday night. So far things go smoothly, yet thier training methods prove confusing to me. They've been training me at posts that arn't open at night, which means once I am on nights they will have to train me all over again. Wierd.

I got my first paycheck today. It's the first one in almost a year. While it isn't a huge check it will allow me to take Babushka out to lunch saturday to celebrate and thank her for all her support over the last year. She so rules.

I found an awsome T-shirt. It reads: Zombie in Training. I so wish they had it in my size. Maybe once this job does it's side work of helping me lose wieght I can get one that fits.

We all have many good memories of life, but what makes me wonder is how many of those memories have to do with sex that we've had? I mean, even after years there are still some instances of sex that I can still think back on fondly, even if the relationship is long gone and ended badly. I've talked with other people and they say that when they think back on things they rarely think of the sex they've had. They have a hard time remembering specific things. It's just sex in general and while they can say they had a blast (pun intended) they can't really remember many details that stick out (pun intended). Maybe I'm just wierd. Yet if I think back I can remember things like a look on a face, they way it felt, touches and movements and sighs and stuff. I can remember whole sexual encounters quite vividly. Am I alone in this? Does this mean that those who I've made love too remember only that we have slept together and never think fondly of those encounters?
Yeah, it's 2am and I'm thinking oddly ain't I?

Still waiting for the library to get in the new Clive Cussler book, Treasure of Kahn. At this rate I'll be able to buy it with my next paycheck before they get a copy avaliable for me. I put a hold on it three weeks ago. This is why I'll buy a book instead of going to a library, just to avoid the aggrivation.

Work needs to hurry up with my uniforms. While I do have nice clothes to wear after 7 years of dressing up in retail, the fact is most of those clothes are about 7 years old and don't look quite as nice as they once did.

Haven't been haging out with anyone much since work began. Just too damn tired. Once they get me on nights that should clear up, I hope.

I own way too much stuff for someone who only rents a room. I mean, most of it is knick-knacks, books and memorabilia, I only have 2 pieces of furniture to my name. How the heck did I acumilate all this? Am I that bad when it comes to not throwing stuff away? This isn't even mentioning my comic collection or this computer. Just way too much stuff.

I can't remember if the jewelry store owes me a W-2 form. I don't quite remember when exactly I got canned. Not that it would amount to much, but if I can even get a $50 tax return, well, all the money can help right? Crap.

My Bro may be leaving CT. He has to go back to bOregon to put his stuff in storage (the person who has been holding it for him is moving away) and I thought he was coming back after he did this, but now he's saying he wants to go visit his other brother in Santa Fe, NM. I know him and know that if he likes it he might just stay there. That just makes me sad, I like having the old boy around.

Ok, I gotta try for at least another hour or two of sleep tonight. Don't want to conk out at work, that just wouldn't look good.

Peace everyone.

Work and Ghosts of the Past

So far so good. Of course my legs hurt like hell, but after being out of work for a year and then getting a job that requires me to walk all over New Haven thats to be expected and should diminish with time. So far all the folks I work with seem ok, they don't all get along and keep warning me about trusting other folks there, but they all have been good to me (as one guard put it: 'of course thier good to you, you look like you could throw them the length of New Haven'). Still waiting for my uniform to come in, and still don't have a schedual yet (they just tell me as I'm leaving when to come next, tomorrow I'm on from 6:30am to 2:30pm. Not exactly night shift, but I'll take any hours they can give me.) . I have a lot to learn, mostly about the city of New Haven. I don't know the streets or the buildings and thats about the biggest part of this job.

Of course my first day in downtown New Haven today and I run into both Heaven's father (I haven't seen her in about 3 1/2 years since she had her kid.) and then the Demon's mother (it's been around 3 years for her now. Mom seemed excited to see me. Not sure if thats a good thing.) What are the odds in a city that big?
(Burfica and Mom, stop singing 'it's a small world'!!!)

Anyways, hope everyone's doing good and I'll check blogs as soon as I get some down time.
Peace.

Update of Now

So the job has started and so far so good. I'm not on the night shift yet, they're trainging me on days. But I should get to night soon because they desperatly need people.
Babushka is home, back in my arms where she belongs. She starts her new semester on Monday. This semester will be spent being a teachers assistant. Between our schedulas we might not get as much time together that we're used to. But we'll figure something out I'm sure.
Our own Bloggerland Dragon, Tiamat, is back to blogging after what seems like an eternal absence. Welcome back Tia.
Thanks to all of you for the support over the last few difficult weeks. It's nice to be back and fighting in the land again.
Peace.

Maybe's and Might-be's and Posibilities

I start work tomarrow.
Babushka returns from Colombia on Wednesday.
Perhaps things are looking up.
Hope your all doing good.
Will be back (hopefully) soon.
Peace.

Resolutions

1. Get a Job
2. Lose Weight
3. Stop being Depressed
4. Stop trying to stay friends with people who have no interest in being friends with me and who I haven't seen or heard from in years.
5. Save for a ring for Babushka
6. Start caring about my life
7. .......................

Sorry, still not feeling right in the head. I think I might take some time away from blogger for a bit till I can get rid of this depression. Hope everyone had a good holiday and great new year. Peace.