Just things

So the Halloween party was fun. For some picts check out the link for the Lone Rangers on my sideboard. It was nice to put a face to the words. He's a great guy and looks good as a lion. Seems like some good people work for the cell companies in the world. All priase to the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
Anyways, so Babushka had a mid-term this day. Which means that she spent the last 2 days freaking out then did just fine on the test. Seems like a pattern she has when it comes to tests and papers.
Got my Bro to watch Shaun of the Dead. That movie so rules. Now we need to sit and do the X-men Movies.
Looking forward to the Live broadcast of Ghost Hunters on the Sci-Fi channel tom night. It's going from 11 pm to 5 am. Yeah, I'm not sleeping all night. How embarrasing will it be if they get nothing all night?
My nephew wants me to do his make-up for Halloween. So if he looks bad it's my fault. Like I need that stress. How do I get myself into these things?
Hope you all have a great Halloween. Post picts if you get dressed up. (this means you too BM!)
Peace.

More politics? What the heck...

Yeah, this is like my second political commentary in a few months. I think that makes a record for me.
But I was watching TV yesterday and during commercial breaks I must have seen about 5 different political commercials. Now I'm normally not the most attentive person when it comes to this crap a definite pattern emerged to me.
See, maybe I'm wrong but it seemed like every single commercial consisted of pointing out the bad stuff of their opponent. It was all mudslinging (which is what they call it I think). Each commercial talked about all the mistakes the opponent made. They talked about how they raised taxes, or didn't support school bills, or supported Bush (it's funny that supporting the president is seen as a bad thing in and of itself). There was even one where the politician in question started off by saying that he wasn't going to have a negative campaign against his opponent, only to turn around and say how mudracking is all his opponent can do because he had nothing good to say about himself. (I won't talk bad about him, although all he can do is talk bad about me cause he sucks.... Isn't that talking bad about him after all?)
When did politicians get so dirty? I remember a time when what they would talk about is their accomplishments. When they would do everything to paint themselves in a good light. Now all they do is paint their opponents in a bad light.
It's like, instead of being asked to pick between 2 good choices we are asked instead to pick the lesser of 2 evils.
Something, somewhere went horribly wrong.
Someone needs to really rethink the whole political scene.

This, that, and some of those.

Ok, lets put my screw ups aside for a bit shall we. I may or may not get back to me ruining this past weekend.
The pictures from Midget and Amazonias wedding have come back in, and may I say I look like a blob in a mortician suit in the photos. Firstly, in all the shots where everyone else is right up against each other I managed to always stay about a step away from the group. This has the effect of making me seem even larger because I couldn't pull the whole hide behind someone else trick. But I really look horrible in the pictures. Everyone else looks good, until you see me. It looks like you could compress the rest of the wedding party together and I'd still wiegh more.
Go figure.
Anyways, the Poet is going to help me try and get a job at Yale University. It'll be night shift, but thats fine, I don't sleep much anyways. Keep your finger crossed for me if you can.
I have such an urge to eat Naan Bread. For those of you who have never had Indian food, go just so you can try this wonderful food. Naan, or sometimes Nan, bread is just awsome.
So I'm going to a Halloween party this Sat night. I just hope they don't expect me to dress up. I have no money to buy a costume and anyways I can't find my makeup to be a zombie. But I'm going to make some kind of food stuff to take, maybe homemade truffles. We'll see.
I'll try and go hrough blogs tomarrow morning if I can. I have to put together my resume and also figure out how to make a cover letter. Should be interesting.
Peace.

Why is it that I'm so good at Fucking things up?

God damn me

Random Facts About Me

1. I've always wanted to visit Scotland
2. I'm heavier now than I have ever been in my life
3. I have been in 7 relationships, ranging in time from 1 week to 5 years (not including the 14 years of off/on with the Demon)
4. My hair used to reach the small of my back.
5. I love Garfield.
6. I'm supposed to wear glasses. the doctor said my eyes were going bad because I read too much.
7. If I care about someone I'll forgive them almost anything.
8. I type using the index finger method.
9. I'm almost totally sterile thanks to my oldest sister and a baseball bat.
10. I rarely remember my dreams, and those I do remember seem to be almost all nightmares.
11. I hate dogs.
12. I'm very unflexible. The Doctor says it has something to do with my tendons.
13. I had an ulcer at age 14.
14. I love horror.
15. I have never ridden in a limo, even though I've been in 4 wedding parties.
16. I'm a carnivore.
17. I can cook pretty good, but I usually don't because I hate cleaning up afterwards.
18. I get very depressed sometimes.
19. I love going to graveyards.
20. I hate pumpernickle bread.
21. There are very few times when I'm not either lsitening to music or having a song play in my head.
22. I'm optomistic about everything but myself.
23. I've never been off this continent.
24. I've had only 2 cavities in 33 years.
25. I have lifted the backend of a car off the ground twice in my life.
26. I like being 15 minutes early wherever I go.
27. My favorite movie is Princess Bride.
28. I collect comic books. Mostly the Hulk, Batman, or any zombie comics.
29. I love condiments. I beleive that any food can be made better by dipping or coating it in a sauce.
30. I have 3 slipped discs in my back.
31. I have a phobia about crowds.
32. I have 4 toy spiders in my car.
33. I play the lotto, not because I think I'll win, but just because I love picturing what I'd do with the money.
34. I'm alergic to nutrasweet.
35. I have 2 friends that I consider family.
36. My first girlfriend commited suicide. I was 14 at the time.
37. I'm not anti-religion, I'm just anti-orginized religion.
38. My top 5 TV stations are: Cooking Network, Sci-Fi channel, Animal Planet, Discovery Channel, and Cartoon Network.
39. Sharks fascinate me.
40. I'm not afraid of any animal I've ever been near. I respect those that can hurt me, but I don't fear them.
41. I love taking pictures.
42. I dont play any musical instruments.
43. I take a size 14 triple wide shoe.
44. I have a crack in the back of my skull from a lead pipe.
45. I don't want kids.
46. I hate writing cursive. I do almost all my writing in print. the only cursive I do is my signature, and no one can read it.
47. I have a birthmark on my stomach.
48. I have 3 of my wisdom teeth, the 4th got broken in a fight.
49. My beard has every color that hair can come in in it. Black, Brown, White, Red, Blonde, Light Brown, Grey.
50. I'm not a big sports fan. The only sports I watch are the Superbowl and Wrestling, which isn't even really a sport.

Thoughts on funerals and stuff

So as I sat through the wake and funeral service and the burial of Big Bob I couldn't help but feel in some way that he would have prefered if someone had just put on a classic rock record instead of all the depressing music and surroundings instead. He always loved old rock and roll. He was a DJ for years and owned a record collection bigger than several muisc stores I know. He also ran an online Saturday night radio station. So to have him surrounded by all the horrible church music just didn't seem right.
Now I'm not mocking the music you have at a church....Ok... well yes, maybe I am. At some point since I was young and actually went to church with my parents, the church decided to set several of the readings to music, and let me tell you most of them were not written to be sung. Aside from the fact that you have everyone singing in the most incredibly monotonous of voices, the words don't match the melodies the organ person is playing. It sounds like a convention for tone deaf people. Add in that the priest is singing into a microphone, in a hall designed for his voice to be able to carry from behind the alter without aide to the whole congregation, so the mic is not only unnecessary but makes his voice so loud and booming that your ears are about to bleed. It just makes the whole thing that much harder to bear.
Then there are the pictures on the walls. All of them are depicting the crusifixtion. I mean, didn't Jesus do more than just die? Is that the best way to remember the man? Why not have pictures of some of his miracles, or of the disciples, or of him preaching? Nope, instead we have him in pain and torment. Thats just so dang depressing. I get it that he ressurected according to the bible, but do we have to be surrounded with the symbol of his death? It's like the family of a convicted man wearing a little pewter electric chair around thier necks. Morbid.
No wonder there are lessa nd less people visiting church these days. I doubt that when Jesus sat around and talked to his folks that he did his best to either bore them to tears or make them do calestenics (Sit, now stand, now sit, now kneel, now stand....).
I may not believe in organized religion, but at the rate going the only people left will be the priest, wondering where all the alter boys have gone. If you want to preach love for everyone then try and make it fun and happy. Thats what love should be.
Anyways, so I have decided that I wnat to put down some of my rules for when I drop and they have to put me into the ground. Just so I know that no one has to go through the almost painful gatherings of a wake and church service.

1. I don't want a wake, first things first. Instead I'd prefer an informal gathering somewhere. Don't sit around looking at my corpse, instead be together helping each other by telling stoires of my time with you. Things that made you laugh. Remember the fun and smiles that I helped create. Talk about how I helped you get through hard times. Talk about how much I loved you all. That is the best way to say goodbye to me, not by crying in loss, but laughing knowing that somewhere out there I'm sticking my tongue out at you.
2. I don't care what you do with my body. If you wanna bury it somewhere so you feel you have a place to visit, go ahead. If you want to cremate it and keep it in a vase so you can pass it around sometimes, go ahead. If you want to stuff it and put it on display in a circus, go ahead. I'm not using it anymore. It's just a rotting piece of meat. Don't waste time fixing it up, or trying to preserve it. Let it rot so the world has more room for those who come next. At the rate the world is going we'll someday have a whole planet of graveyards. The fact that we have homeless folks out there, and yet keep making room for dead bodies is kind of wrong, no matter how much I love graveyards.
3. Play music I liked. None of this curch crap. Put on something with a beat to it. Songs to sing along with. I have quite the collection of music, so pick out a CD or two and pop them in. Maybe 'In my Life' by the Beatles, or 'My Funeral' by Crash Test Dummies or even 'Happy Phantom" by Tori Amos. I'm not saying don't make it appropriate, but at least make it good music. (How about 'You Keep a Knocking But you Can't Come in" by Little Richard? Heh).
4. Keep me out of the church. I don't need a church service. It would make no sense. The only times I go into a church is for a wedding or funeral. I don't want the last memory of me that people have is from inside of a church ok? I might have to sit up and smack somebody, and that would throw off all thier ressurection stuff.
5. Enough with the dress clothes. I HATE dress clothes. So stick the black dresses and black ties and black dress shoes in the back of the closet and put on some jeans. I would want people to be comfortable, cause I know I want to be comfortable. So don't bury me/burn me in a dress outfit either. Jeans and a T-Shirt have done me good so far in life, so why not after the fact? Eternity with a tie.... Ugh.
6. Eat. Either a nice buffet like we had today or maybe a backyard BBQ. Food has been a staple of my life, it's why my waist line is about the same measurment as the Titanic's ballroom. Anyways, it sucks crying about people on an empty stomach.
7. If you are going to bury my a**, then put something apropriate on the tombstone. None of this 'Loved Son/Brother/Boyfriend/Friend' stuff. Keep it simple. Maybe just "He made us smile." I think that would be the best thing for people to remember me by. I've always done my best to make people smile. Anyways, I'm not sure they'd print "He Loved Boobies" on a tombstone.
8. Lastly, if you want to do something in memory of me make it something that reminds you of me. So no giving to charity (most of my friends and family don't got money themselves, and since I have always done my best to give them what money I could it doesn't make sense for them to give some away and make themselves even more broke). Try reading a book. It was one of my favorite things in life. I'd suggest either Steven King or Terry Pratchett. Maybe Clive Cussler. Or if your not a big reader then make it simple like Garfield or Calvin & Hobbes. If your really not a reader then watch a zombie movie. Zombies eating people! Who knows, I might just be sitting next to you watching too.

I'm going to miss Big Bob. But when I think of him I won't be thinking about this afternoons service, or last nights wake. I won't be thinking of everyone crying, or the readings the preacher did. I'll be thinking about the 2 of us, driving home from Riverside amusement park, with everyone else in the car asleep, listening to Big D 103 classic rock and discussing how much better music was back then and seeing how many of the songs we could sing along with.
So here's to you Big Bob, to hell with resting in peace... you get up there and get your hands on a record player and crank the volume up to 11 and rock that place till the break of dawn. I've got the tunes cranked down here, so lets chase the dark away with a little loud a** music. I'll miss you, but I'll see you again someday.

"Bottle of Wine
Fruit of the Vine
When you gonna let me get Sober
Leave me alone
Let me go Home
Let me go Home and Start over....."

Just thoughts.

So I have a wake and funeral this weekend. They are having the wake Friday night and a church service and the funeral on Saturday morning. They may have me be a Pallbearer, unless they decide to go with the military service (he had been in the army when he was younger.) They haven't decided yet. Babushka has now met My Bro, although not under the circumstances that she had wanted.

I keep thinking of how Big Bob was when we were growing up. He was always so large and full of life. He was always such a powerful presecence and a fighter that it's hard to imagine him gone. The fact that he was about the same age as my parents is a scary thought. I offered my assistance in helping to clear his stuff out of his appartment (they have to have it all out before the rent is due.). Sometimes I just have to tell my back to suck it up and deal with the pain.

Due to money we can't get to Canada for my Uncle Hugh's service. I feel bad about this becase that whole side of the family had to make such huge sacrifices (one of my Uncles actually had his job threatened if he wasn't there for work that week, and he still came. Fortunatly they didn't fire him. I don't think they could under law, but the threat had been made) to be there for my Nannie's funeral that I feel like we should be there for Hughs. But being broke means that sometimes you can't do what you feel you should. I know in my heart that Hugh himself would understand. Maybe in the end thats all that matters.

Debating if I want to dress up for Halloween this year. I ahven't in a while, although I do love the holiday. But I've always enjoyed seeing others done up more than getting done up myself. We'll see. I might not have the money to get an outfit anyways. Although a group of my cousins are going out as Star Wars charectors (one is Obi Wan, One as Vader, one as Boba Fett) and they want me to be Chewie. Who knows eh?

Hope eveyones doing good. I probably won't get back on till after this weekend, so have a great holiday weekend and get laid as much as possible.
Peace.

Goodbye x2

Bob Casano Sr. passed away at 5am this morning. I had known him since I was 4 years old, the father of my Bro. He was one of the most solid and dependable people I have ever met. Always had a smile, but look out if he got mad because the neighbors half way across town could hear him yell. You'll be missed Big Bob. Rest in peace. Also, my Uncle Hugh passed away yesterday. He was one of the nicest men anyone could have ever met. Although he always swore he'd enevr forgive his mother for naming him Hughtred. I wish I could have known him better, but our visits that far north were few and far between. He passed quietly, having been joking wqiht the nurses just a hlaf hour before they found him gone. In holding with his wishes they'll have a party not a funeral for him, which is how it should be. Rest in peace Uncle Hugh. I love you.

Problems or just a screw up?

Hey, is anybody else having problems posting pictures on thier blog or is it just me?

Private life (or) Keeping things from each other

Babuashka is a wee bit upset with me right now. Not that she has ahd time to think about it much since schools keeping her busy. But the fact is that my Bro has been home for almost a month now and I still haven't taken her to see him.
We've been together for 5 years now, and while he has been home three times in that time she has yet to meet him. It's not that I don't want her too...
Or is it?
See, I'm the type that prefers when most of my friends don't know each other. Not all the people I hang with would necessarily get along too well if they met. Also I have had far too many times where freinds have gotten in an argument and I've eneded up in the middle. So as the years pass I've found it's just better if I hang with one friend at a time. Oh quite a few of my freinds know each other, I met a large amount of them in collage and so all those I met there used to hang out, at least there. But as the years past I found many of them went thier seperate ways. So now, although I can mention them to each other, they themselves haven't actually met or hung out in years.
Now Babushka is my lady, and as such she has met quite a few of these friends. While I still hang out with many of them without her, she has at least gone with me to see them once or twice. For the most part she is the type that gets along with everyone, just because she has a tendency to be very innocent and sweet.
Yet in some ways I still can't bring myself to introduce her to my Bro. Maybe it's partly because I know he can be a wee bit opinionated about things, and doens't always get on well with others. Partly because....
well maybe part of me wants to keep a small part of my world to myself.
It's not that he's my only friend she has never met. To my memory she hasn't met Boston or Guiness yet either. Also EFFXB, although thats partly because I havent seen him myself in about 5 years or so. (I feel so bad about that, but he lives half-way across CT and I just never seem to have the time or money to head out that way). Same can be said for Heaven, it's been 3 years since our last hug. Ug as well, he's up in the arctic state of Maine, so I can't exactly drive her up to meet him. I also don't think she's met Isis or the Ant yet.
Ok so maybe there are quite a few parts of my life that she hasn't been entered into. But my Bro is differant in some way. He's my oldest friend, since we were 4 years old, and a special part of my life and memories. (not that the others arn't.)
I don't know, maybe I'm just being stupid.
But I'm not sure how much longer he's staying around till he heads back to the west coast, so I'm confused about wether I should have them meet, or put it off until it's too late.
I hate decisions sometimes.